The Blowfly has well and truly had his mind working overtime during the last few weeks.
Yours truly has been absolutely enthralled by the conversations and tid-bits that have been forthcoming in his nightly forays into the bins around Parliament House's kitchens in Canberra.As the heat in the 'house' increases the taste of the refuse always seems to improve and an atmosphere of "the more the merrier" emerges.
Cousin Cedric , who has always had Liberal views since his birth in the carcase of a dead cat in Sydney's eastern suburbs, first threw a spanner into the workings of your mind when he reminded you of Paul Keating's assessment of Malcolm Turnbull. The notion Keating had was that Malcolm was "brilliant, fearless and lacked judgement".It was not a perspective that you had considered previously. You had always seen him in terms of his liaisons with Kerry Packer and the fortune he'd made from Ozemail.As well you'd heard from reliable sources that his time in John Howard's ministry was positive and he'd really come to grips with the water problem this country has.He'd also jumped through a substantial hoop, in your small mind at least, by winning his seat against overwhelming odds, it seemed at the time.
This Sunday morning it is most appropriate that you find yourself again sitting on Malcolm's shoulder as he ponders his future in politics.He has just finished reading Laurie Oakes' article in the Herald Sun cheekily entitled "Malcolm Turnbull in a china shop".
As he looks out across the harbour he ponders Laurie's conclusions.
"KRudd probably will start trawling over my past. Have I got any skeletons which might screw me? Mmmmm! I hope no-one in the ALP can channel the ghost of Kerry Packer. " He wistfully sips the latte that Lucy has made for him on the new coffee machine."Have I reported all my capital gains to the ATO?" Mmmmmh!
" I did not really want to burn Godwen Grech.He was so helpful. Such a loyal person.Probably Laurie is right. No other public servant will leak to me now.What hypocrites KRudd, Swan, Gillard and Tanner are! We all know they were getting leaks galore when we were in power.Now they throw mud at us when we are receiving inside information."
"And I thought I was on Cloud 9! Peter announcing his retirement from politics made me feel on top of the world. A week certainly is a long time in politics.Maybe I am a bit too pig-headed. Maybe I don't listen to my compatriates enough.Some of them are not as clever as me though! Why would I listen to them? I suppose some of them have more experience than me in politics. God this is a hard one!"
He reaches for his trusted copy of "The Peter Prescription" by Dr Laurence J Peter, (sub-titled 'how to make things go right') for inspiration--- as he so often does.
Pudder's Law hits him in the eye. "Anything that begins well ends badly".He rolls his eyes and you hear him groan.
He then spots one of Hubbard's gems---"Do not take life too seriously;you will never get out of it alive".He smiles a small eastern suburbs smile of recognition.
But then he comes to the one he will hang his hat on today--"It requires a very unusual mind to make an analysis of the obvious" by Whitehead.You know that he is proud of his unusual mind and it gets him going on a new track.
"What is the obvious?", he thinks to himself. So he starts to list 'the obvious' down in his highly developed mind.
"Peter has gone and there are no other leaders in sight except perhaps Hockey.
We are in the worst economic climate in our lifetimes and even we would be struggling to do well in this environment.
KRudd and Swan have the levers and it is a pretty hairy ride for them.It could not happen to a nicer pair!
The only major thing we would've done differently is that we would've put more into infrastructure and creating jobs rather than giving everyone $900 to piss up against the wall.
Now that Peter has gone I don't have to worry about the leadership and hurry too much.In fact I can be downright patient.
KRudd's boys and girls can't all be squeaky clean. Look at Joel Fitzgibbon!
These economic circumstances are putting the blowtorch to the Government's belly of their own accord.I don't really have to try too hard.
Maybe all I have to do is to scratch around the populace and see how its being spent.
Maybe I should start constructing some really spiffy new policies for the next election?
What are the policies that would really capture the imaginations of the swinging voters in this environment."
He takes another sip of his latte. It is stone cold.He thinks about asking Lucy to make him another one but relents.He decides to leave her out gardening and get it himself.He recognises this as an act of humility and placing his wife's interests above his own pleases him immensely.
"Who says I'm not a SNAG?", he thinks to himself.
Back on track with his future he reaches for the phone and telephones Joe Hockey.
Joe's at a picnic with his wife and young family but he has his mobile on.
"Joe, Malcolm here.I've been thinking! Maybe you were right. I'll try and take it a bit more slowly in future. I think these bastards are going to hang themselves."
You feel your heart swell with pride. Your charge has seen the light.
The Blowfly can again rest peacefully.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Monday, June 08, 2009
Our politicians waste social media because they are broadcasting rather than listening!
This week The Blowfly has been exercising his almighty brain capacity trying to understand why our 2 political leaders in Australia seem to be so sadly short of the mark in respect to their use of the new phenomena known as 'social media'.
The Blowfly knows that KRudd and Malcolm Turnbull are both prolific readers and digest material like his cousin Max who is the 'cock of the hoop' at the local abattoirs ( Max has often boasted that his offspring can get through a carcase a week).
On his daily beat around Parliament House The Blowfly has heard rumours that both Kevin and Malcolm are reading "Groundswell", the national bestseller about 'winning in a world transformed by social technologies'. He thinks that there is hope if these 2 very active brains are applying themselves to this issue in such a constructive way. One of your ancestors apparently hung around the American comedian Will Rogers in the 30's and part of your family memory is Will's famous retort that 'you only learn by doing 2 things--reading books and mixing with smarter people'.You smile a lovely, knowing blowfly smile.
You spot KRudd sitting in the ante-room munching on a turkey and cranberry sauce sandwich and trying to get in a few chapters of 'Groundswell' before Question Time. You alight gently onto his shoulder not wishing to break his concentration. He is on page 95 and he is stalled. You see the heading 'your listening plan' and then you note the next sentence. "So if you've decided to start listening, what should you do?".
You can hear his internal dialogue. "Start listening? I didn't sign up to Twitter to start listening to people. I want them to listen to me! Hugh Mackay likes the way that I use hyperbole. So do I!
He says that I sometimes go into hyperbolic overdrive. He!He! That's on purpose. Its a great distraction tool I learnt when I worked for Wayne Goss in Queensland.And, boy, did we need lots of distraction techniques in Queensland!"
You see him look at the ceiling and his mind accelerates at the notion of 'listening'.
"How do I use hyperbole when I'm listening? How can I pass on my optimism by listening? How will I maximise the political opportunity of the global financial crisis by listening to people---especially if I have to do it by using Twitter? How can I tell people what a good job we are doing in tough times by listening?"
His mind is so engaged with this line of thinking that you are considering a foray into a little touch of cranberry sauce that has found itself on his tie but then his minder appears and ushers him away to Question Time.
However at least, deep in your heart, you know the real reason he is struggling with social media. He sees it as a broadcast tool rather than a listening tool.
Into the green chamber you go in search of one Malcolm Turnbull.
As things get wound up with KRudd telling the Parliament what a great job he and his team are doing of managing the economy you spot Malcolm with hand on chin. You make a bee-line and position yourself just near his collar. You note the rather outstanding tie he is wearing and recognise it as one that Lucy bought for him on her last trip overseas.
Malcolm's heart is not quite in this Question Time. You are able to read his rather special eastern suburbs mind and his thoughts are not dis-similar to KRudd's. He too is wrestling with the notion of listening with social media.
"How can I tell the Australian people about my grand plans if I have to listen to them? How can I make KRudd look stupid by listening? Did Kerry Packer get wealthy by listening? Gough Whitlam should've listened more.Malcolm Fraser should've listened more. Paul Keating should've listened more. John Howard did not listen to his ministers---- but listened too much to his wife? Maybe there is something in this listening!"
The dialogue in his head is taking an interesting turn you think to yourself. "Let's hope he goes on to read page 125 of "Groundswell" where it talks about 'starting a conversation'".
Because when he gets there The Blowfly knows that the penny will finally drop. He will understand that if he starts a conversation with the Australian people ,and he listens intently to their answers, they will tell him how to win the next election.That listening will provide all the material that an election strategist could wish for.But it wont be easy!Because as the authors of "Groundswell" point out "the transition from shouting to conversation will challenge your marketing department. It's a fundament change in attitude."
In your heart you know that Malcolm has more chance of exploiting social media than KRudd. It's not about humility---because its hard to tease them apart in that respect---but more about wanting to win versus fearing to lose.
The Blowfly knows that the "Groundswell" has started.On the blowfly-telegraph you have heard how Obama showed how it could be used to win an election in 'the good old US of A' and you suspect that Turnbull has the capacity to do that here.
It's been a tough day for a blowfly and you decide to retire to the garbage tins near the Parliament House kitchens and take your fill.All your mates congregate there in the evenings and that's where you pick up most of your material.
The Blowfly knows that KRudd and Malcolm Turnbull are both prolific readers and digest material like his cousin Max who is the 'cock of the hoop' at the local abattoirs ( Max has often boasted that his offspring can get through a carcase a week).
On his daily beat around Parliament House The Blowfly has heard rumours that both Kevin and Malcolm are reading "Groundswell", the national bestseller about 'winning in a world transformed by social technologies'. He thinks that there is hope if these 2 very active brains are applying themselves to this issue in such a constructive way. One of your ancestors apparently hung around the American comedian Will Rogers in the 30's and part of your family memory is Will's famous retort that 'you only learn by doing 2 things--reading books and mixing with smarter people'.You smile a lovely, knowing blowfly smile.
You spot KRudd sitting in the ante-room munching on a turkey and cranberry sauce sandwich and trying to get in a few chapters of 'Groundswell' before Question Time. You alight gently onto his shoulder not wishing to break his concentration. He is on page 95 and he is stalled. You see the heading 'your listening plan' and then you note the next sentence. "So if you've decided to start listening, what should you do?".
You can hear his internal dialogue. "Start listening? I didn't sign up to Twitter to start listening to people. I want them to listen to me! Hugh Mackay likes the way that I use hyperbole. So do I!
He says that I sometimes go into hyperbolic overdrive. He!He! That's on purpose. Its a great distraction tool I learnt when I worked for Wayne Goss in Queensland.And, boy, did we need lots of distraction techniques in Queensland!"
You see him look at the ceiling and his mind accelerates at the notion of 'listening'.
"How do I use hyperbole when I'm listening? How can I pass on my optimism by listening? How will I maximise the political opportunity of the global financial crisis by listening to people---especially if I have to do it by using Twitter? How can I tell people what a good job we are doing in tough times by listening?"
His mind is so engaged with this line of thinking that you are considering a foray into a little touch of cranberry sauce that has found itself on his tie but then his minder appears and ushers him away to Question Time.
However at least, deep in your heart, you know the real reason he is struggling with social media. He sees it as a broadcast tool rather than a listening tool.
Into the green chamber you go in search of one Malcolm Turnbull.
As things get wound up with KRudd telling the Parliament what a great job he and his team are doing of managing the economy you spot Malcolm with hand on chin. You make a bee-line and position yourself just near his collar. You note the rather outstanding tie he is wearing and recognise it as one that Lucy bought for him on her last trip overseas.
Malcolm's heart is not quite in this Question Time. You are able to read his rather special eastern suburbs mind and his thoughts are not dis-similar to KRudd's. He too is wrestling with the notion of listening with social media.
"How can I tell the Australian people about my grand plans if I have to listen to them? How can I make KRudd look stupid by listening? Did Kerry Packer get wealthy by listening? Gough Whitlam should've listened more.Malcolm Fraser should've listened more. Paul Keating should've listened more. John Howard did not listen to his ministers---- but listened too much to his wife? Maybe there is something in this listening!"
The dialogue in his head is taking an interesting turn you think to yourself. "Let's hope he goes on to read page 125 of "Groundswell" where it talks about 'starting a conversation'".
Because when he gets there The Blowfly knows that the penny will finally drop. He will understand that if he starts a conversation with the Australian people ,and he listens intently to their answers, they will tell him how to win the next election.That listening will provide all the material that an election strategist could wish for.But it wont be easy!Because as the authors of "Groundswell" point out "the transition from shouting to conversation will challenge your marketing department. It's a fundament change in attitude."
In your heart you know that Malcolm has more chance of exploiting social media than KRudd. It's not about humility---because its hard to tease them apart in that respect---but more about wanting to win versus fearing to lose.
The Blowfly knows that the "Groundswell" has started.On the blowfly-telegraph you have heard how Obama showed how it could be used to win an election in 'the good old US of A' and you suspect that Turnbull has the capacity to do that here.
It's been a tough day for a blowfly and you decide to retire to the garbage tins near the Parliament House kitchens and take your fill.All your mates congregate there in the evenings and that's where you pick up most of your material.
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