Some old Prime Ministers dont seem to die, but they still leave a bad smell!

Today The Blowfly is perched on the shoulder of our erstwhile former leader Paul Keating as he wreaks havoc on the world with his ascerbic views.

For The Blowfly it has been a fairly hairy ride.Paul is not one to sit and reflect .He is more of a 'run the ball up' sort of guy and frankly you've had to cling to his shoulder with vigilance during this most recent visit.

You do like the feel of Keating's Italian suits, but in your own mind you could always preferred Gough's shoulder because you can see further.

Paul likes taking a shot at most things associated with the old guard---except his mentor Jack Lang! So it was no surprise to The Blowfly when he tackled the subject of Canberra. Of course you know where Paul is coming from with his latest foray.

Like Paul you always preferred the garbage and swill of Sydney's western suburbs to the circular and benign grass-ways of our national capital.He had to uproot his family and move them to this false paradise. He found himself like a fish out of water. And he did what fish do when they find themselves out of water---he thrashed around frantically before suffocating and enduring a slow painful death.

Paul does not like Canberra. He never did and he never will! I'm sure there wont be many Canberran's who will give a rats about Paul's views. Talk about souffle's rising twice!

And The Blowfly was on Paul's shoulder when he had to shake hands with Malcolm Fraser just recently. For The Blowfly it was more satisfying than blowfly-sex.The atmosphere was electric! These 2 former leaders shaking hands for the cameras. You could feel the love in the room.Yours truly was ecstatic! You remembered the words of your father when he told you that there are some people 'who don't know how to have fun without laughing'. But you do! You know how to pick your moments and on whose shoulder to sit to maximise your fun.

The Blowfly notes that the other sad 'shadow of his former self' PM is also starting to strut his stuff on the speaking circuit. John Howard must've finished his post-
PMship counselling (paid for by the taxpayer) and is now ready to face the world and tell everyone what he now knows to be true.

The Blowfly wonders when he will turn his ultimate unrelenting wisdom to how the Liberal Party can rebuild itself.And how he will rationalise his role in its current despair.

The Blowfly then flagellates himself that he is one sick puppy by entertaining this thought and leaves Keating's shoulder to a more satisfying perch on an old hamburger he has spotted rotting in the sun.

The Blowfly finds himself singing "Heaven, I'm in Heaven".

Will Malcolm Turnbull die of natural causes or will he be murdered?

On Friday afternoon The Blowfly was perched on Malcolm Turnbull's shoulder as he was reading the erstwhile piece of journalistic sagacity , the Australian Financial Review.

There was a story in the centrepiece, Review, about the writer Leo Tolstoy.Apparently the cause of his death has exacted speculation for many years.The writer speculated that he may've been murdered.He proposed an article entitled "Did Leo Tolstoy Die Of Natural Causes Or Was He Murdered?: A Forensic Investigation"

I saw Malcolm twitch a little and then he did one of those wistful looks out the window that he does so well. Lucy loves them. She has a little romance in her and says that "the wistful look always highlights his beautiful eyes".

But as I tuned into to his thinking I could see that he was pondering the possibility that the same options confronted him .

"It's hard being a blue blood", he thinks to himself, "I don't need to have the same basic concerns that confront the populace. I can afford to think about the big picture.Not like those damn farmers and their National Party mates who are always trying to discount the effect on the climate of their farting cows and the effects of the trees they chop down."

"If only they would let me lead from the front.Dear me!But I must remember the words of Hull --- 'He who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away'."

" And why have the ALP been able to paint me as the problem here? They have not been able to convince the minor parties either. Penny Wong is smarter than I thought. I under-estimated her.I think they're just using me as distraction to take everyone's minds off the global financial crisis. And that damned Stimulus Package! I wonder if the Australian public will ever realise that they were hoodwinked? Treasury worked out a long time ago that it would pay for itself over a decade with the extra taxes collected from all those poor fools who came forward for their $900 who were not in the tax system. 22000 extra taxpayers in the system at last count!And if its not extra taxes it will be reduced Centrelink payments because the incomes will now be properly caught."

You decide that this is the best time to get up his nose.You lift off gently and head for the hairs in his nasal vortex. He sees you coming and ducks. You land on the mantelpiece. You can see him in a different light from this perspective. A man who could be prime minister---but isn't! A man who wants to be loved by the populace---but isn't! A man with good ideas! A man with a deep sense of wanting to do the right thing by Australia---but who cant!

"Oh dear me", you thought to yourself, "I hope he does not get murdered in the party meeting on Sunday afternoon. He has so much to give and so much to learn"

From the mantelpiece you picked up his parting thought. It was from the management guru Peter Drucker----"It is more important to do the right thing than to do things right".

It was the solace The Blowfly had been looking for and you buzzed off to the kitchen in search of your afternoon tea.

This emissions trading issue will be the making of Malcolm Turnbull

This week The Blowfly is in deep sympathy mode for Malcolm Turnbull.
It seems that each time Malcolm shows leadership his party whips hips him.
And each time he does not show leadership his party whips him.

Perched on his erstwhile shoulder you feel his pain! After all this is the guy who told the late Kerry Packer to get stuffed.And undoubtedly risked his life in the process!

At least he has the support of his wife.

But beyond that he is wondering who will step forward.

"I used to be able to count on Joe Hockey", you hear him thinking.

But then you hear him dismiss that loyalty as a passing phase Joe is going through.Joe would love to get to trade punches with his former Channel 7 panellist, KRudd.

"They should trust me to negotiate anything", Malcolm thinks. "They should put my performance at the Constitutional gathering behind them. I have grown since then.I learn't a lot from John Howard. He never said sorry and nor will I" .

The Blowfly notices his chin dropping and that sad, forlorn look comes over him.

The Blowfly thinks that maybe Malcolm needs to go to see someone trained in NLP so he can rejuvenate the little programme in his mind which releases the positive statements.

Lucy enters with his cup of coffee and a Tim-Tam.

"Why don't they trust a silver-tail to lead them , darling?" he enquires wistfully.

" Because , sweetheart, they are all wankers!" she retorts without a thought.

As she goes on her way he wonders to himself why he is unable to see things as clearly as wife.

Then he recalls the words of Winston Churchill. "They are decided only to be undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, all-powerful for impotence"

The mantle of leadership falls gently upon his shoulders again.The Liberal Party once again has a leader.