Monday, June 20, 2011

It's great to be great:but it's greater to be Independent!

This week The Blowfly has made the trip to northern NSW to glue himself to the shoulders of the Independent member for Tamworth, Tony Windsor.

Its Saturday morning and he is about to make his normal ‘run the gauntlet’ walk up Tamworth’s main drag, Peel Street.

The Blowfly gently alights on Tony’s shoulder as he gets into his car for the trip from his home to his office.

As Tony drives he performs his morning limbering-up exercises in his mind.

The Blowfly tunes into Tony’s thoughts.

“Barnaby Joyce is a fool. Barnaby Joyce is a fool. Barnaby Joyce is a fool. Barnaby Joyce is a fool.”

As he turns the corner he changes his affirmation!

“I am an Independent----not a Nat, not a Lib.
I only worry about my constituents. Not the blockheads in my party.”

He repeats it several times grinding it deep into his brain.

And then his ruddy face bursts into a broad smile as he thinks of the funny things he’s experienced in days gone by……….his student days at the University of New England……….general council meetings of the NSW Farmers Association……….. Kevin Rudd’s notion of consultation with the mining industry…………….and the funny things going on now…………Bob Katter’s weirdly conflicted economic thinking…………Tony Abbott’s government-busting tirades…………his irritating 3-word slogans…………Bob Katter’s hat………….Julie Bishop’s bedside manner…………….Wayne Swan’s jokes…………Kevin Rudd sleeping in the rough……….”

Alighting from his car he starts to run the gauntlet.

The comments and greetings start coming at him.

“G’day Tony”. “G’day mate”. “How are you, Tony”. “Good job mate”.
“ Ya bloody wanker!” “Turncoat”. ”Ya bastard!”. “Go back to Quirindi , you idiot”.

Tony seems quite undeterred. He knows his position is impregnable.

The Blowfly tunes again to Tony’s thoughts as he saunters down Peel Street politely smiling at his constituents:
“I wonder if the Nats are serious about running Barnaby against me?........... would they be stupid enough to waste his Queensland following…………... it would be a lot of fun…………. he’s so easy to get wound up…………….accountants are such easy targets …………I wonder if Abbott will implode before long……………. how long can he keep up the aggression?........... at some stage he’s going to have to develop some policies…………. you can’t win an election with a mental health policy alone…………..I wonder how many meetings I have this week………….God my backside is on fire at the moment…………I need a holiday but it will have to wait until the MPCCC finishes its work…………..I hope they can make up their mind quickly before the sky falls in like that idiot Abbott is going around saying……….the things you see when you haven’t got a gun!.…………..at least Malcolm was good company …………………………..why is the ALP making such hard work of climate change?...............and why are they making such hard work of the asylum-seeker situation?........and the Coalition is no better…………..even Nauru looks attractive when you are persecuted and have a gun to your head!.......... why don’t we just let’em work on the mines in WA provided they stay there?.......heh! heh!.......not a bad idea for an ex-farmer……even Katter would probably like that one…………..where does a man get a milkshake around here?.............”

The Blowfly recalls the words of Turner: “If you respect your job’s importance, it will probably return the favour”.

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