Recently Wilson Tuckey charged that terrorists were gaining entry to Australia in the refugee boats by acting as asylum-seekers.He insinuated that terrorists would subject themselves to such deprivations in order to perform their martyrdoms.
The Blowfly raised his eye-brows in mock horror, much the same as John Howard used to do. The Blowfly knows that Wilson Tuckey has never been a shrinking violet.Wilson first assumed his Federal seat of O'Connor in October 1980 and is now the oldest member of the Parliament at age 74.
Nicknamed "Ironbar", after being convicted of assaulting an aboriginal man with a length of steel cable whilst a publican at Carnarvon in 1967,Wilson has never been 'backward in coming forward' and has tested the mettle of all his leaders in and out of government.
The Blowfly is well aware that just as red wines mature with age it is possible that some politicians follow the same route. Ever the adventurer you decide to see what makes Wilson tick. Paul Keating once called Wilson 'a piece of criminal garbage'. To your humble brain this means the best chance you have for finding him is to scout around those garbage bins outside the Parliament House kitchen.And Cousin Fester also saw him there once digging up dirt on Kim Beazley.But alas no Wilson there!
These days he is more likely to be holding court at the entrance to Parliament House and that is where you find him today---- waxing lyrical!You gently settle onto his shoulder and latch your germy little feet firmly into his shirt.In a funny sort of way you feel 'right at home'.
Your expectations are high. You remember an old friend telling you that if you were choosing between a slow clock and a stopped clock you should choose the latter because at least a stopped clock was ' right twice a day'. It could be the same with Wilson, you think.
An alert young journalist asks him a particularly astute question about climate change. You sense his feigned interest as you tune into his thought process.
"Why do these gooses ask me intelligent questions", he thinks "don't they know I'm from Western Australia?"
"Intelligent questions should only be asked of that smart-arse from Queensland, Barnaby Joyce", he thinks. "Now there's a yokel if ever there was one!" He chuckles to himself as he remembers Paul Lyneham's quip that a yokel is 'someone who sees the Nationals as the driving force of the Coalition'.
"Why do these gooses keep on asking me questions about things I know nothing about? My mouth just goes into overdrive and anything seems to come out.Gee it must be embarrassing for my Party. Why don't these gooses ask me about subjects I know something about? How to pour a good beer.How to deal with the Stolen Generation.Cupcakes.The weather in Carnarvon.Paul Keating's former girlfriends.What drongoes are.How not to get your son off a traffic charge.What a dickhead John Howard is. Malcolm Turnbull's weak spots.The Min-Min light.Malcolm Fraser's inadeqacies.The meaning of the word 'sorry'.Humility.Economics.Where UFO's come from."
You see his eyes glaze over and you decide that this is a good time to get into his ear. You hover near his right ear looking for the right moment to enter. It is then that you feel like Malcolm Muggeridge when he 'saw the light' on his 'road to Damascus'.
You too can 'see the light'.As you stare into his right ear you see the beam of light emanating from his left ear.It's like the light at the end of a tunnel. Could it be a freight train coming? Surely not!
The Blowfly's impulsive urge gets the better of him and you hit the throttle and go for it. In what seems like a nano-second you are out the other side and into the air coming into Wilson's left ear.
And--------- into 'the light'! Your understanding of Wilson has been advanced.
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Some old Prime Ministers dont seem to die, but they still leave a bad smell!
Today The Blowfly is perched on the shoulder of our erstwhile former leader Paul Keating as he wreaks havoc on the world with his ascerbic views.
For The Blowfly it has been a fairly hairy ride.Paul is not one to sit and reflect .He is more of a 'run the ball up' sort of guy and frankly you've had to cling to his shoulder with vigilance during this most recent visit.
You do like the feel of Keating's Italian suits, but in your own mind you could always preferred Gough's shoulder because you can see further.
Paul likes taking a shot at most things associated with the old guard---except his mentor Jack Lang! So it was no surprise to The Blowfly when he tackled the subject of Canberra. Of course you know where Paul is coming from with his latest foray.
Like Paul you always preferred the garbage and swill of Sydney's western suburbs to the circular and benign grass-ways of our national capital.He had to uproot his family and move them to this false paradise. He found himself like a fish out of water. And he did what fish do when they find themselves out of water---he thrashed around frantically before suffocating and enduring a slow painful death.
Paul does not like Canberra. He never did and he never will! I'm sure there wont be many Canberran's who will give a rats about Paul's views. Talk about souffle's rising twice!
And The Blowfly was on Paul's shoulder when he had to shake hands with Malcolm Fraser just recently. For The Blowfly it was more satisfying than blowfly-sex.The atmosphere was electric! These 2 former leaders shaking hands for the cameras. You could feel the love in the room.Yours truly was ecstatic! You remembered the words of your father when he told you that there are some people 'who don't know how to have fun without laughing'. But you do! You know how to pick your moments and on whose shoulder to sit to maximise your fun.
The Blowfly notes that the other sad 'shadow of his former self' PM is also starting to strut his stuff on the speaking circuit. John Howard must've finished his post-
PMship counselling (paid for by the taxpayer) and is now ready to face the world and tell everyone what he now knows to be true.
The Blowfly wonders when he will turn his ultimate unrelenting wisdom to how the Liberal Party can rebuild itself.And how he will rationalise his role in its current despair.
The Blowfly then flagellates himself that he is one sick puppy by entertaining this thought and leaves Keating's shoulder to a more satisfying perch on an old hamburger he has spotted rotting in the sun.
The Blowfly finds himself singing "Heaven, I'm in Heaven".
For The Blowfly it has been a fairly hairy ride.Paul is not one to sit and reflect .He is more of a 'run the ball up' sort of guy and frankly you've had to cling to his shoulder with vigilance during this most recent visit.
You do like the feel of Keating's Italian suits, but in your own mind you could always preferred Gough's shoulder because you can see further.
Paul likes taking a shot at most things associated with the old guard---except his mentor Jack Lang! So it was no surprise to The Blowfly when he tackled the subject of Canberra. Of course you know where Paul is coming from with his latest foray.
Like Paul you always preferred the garbage and swill of Sydney's western suburbs to the circular and benign grass-ways of our national capital.He had to uproot his family and move them to this false paradise. He found himself like a fish out of water. And he did what fish do when they find themselves out of water---he thrashed around frantically before suffocating and enduring a slow painful death.
Paul does not like Canberra. He never did and he never will! I'm sure there wont be many Canberran's who will give a rats about Paul's views. Talk about souffle's rising twice!
And The Blowfly was on Paul's shoulder when he had to shake hands with Malcolm Fraser just recently. For The Blowfly it was more satisfying than blowfly-sex.The atmosphere was electric! These 2 former leaders shaking hands for the cameras. You could feel the love in the room.Yours truly was ecstatic! You remembered the words of your father when he told you that there are some people 'who don't know how to have fun without laughing'. But you do! You know how to pick your moments and on whose shoulder to sit to maximise your fun.
The Blowfly notes that the other sad 'shadow of his former self' PM is also starting to strut his stuff on the speaking circuit. John Howard must've finished his post-
PMship counselling (paid for by the taxpayer) and is now ready to face the world and tell everyone what he now knows to be true.
The Blowfly wonders when he will turn his ultimate unrelenting wisdom to how the Liberal Party can rebuild itself.And how he will rationalise his role in its current despair.
The Blowfly then flagellates himself that he is one sick puppy by entertaining this thought and leaves Keating's shoulder to a more satisfying perch on an old hamburger he has spotted rotting in the sun.
The Blowfly finds himself singing "Heaven, I'm in Heaven".
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Will Malcolm Turnbull die of natural causes or will he be murdered?
On Friday afternoon The Blowfly was perched on Malcolm Turnbull's shoulder as he was reading the erstwhile piece of journalistic sagacity , the Australian Financial Review.
There was a story in the centrepiece, Review, about the writer Leo Tolstoy.Apparently the cause of his death has exacted speculation for many years.The writer speculated that he may've been murdered.He proposed an article entitled "Did Leo Tolstoy Die Of Natural Causes Or Was He Murdered?: A Forensic Investigation"
I saw Malcolm twitch a little and then he did one of those wistful looks out the window that he does so well. Lucy loves them. She has a little romance in her and says that "the wistful look always highlights his beautiful eyes".
But as I tuned into to his thinking I could see that he was pondering the possibility that the same options confronted him .
"It's hard being a blue blood", he thinks to himself, "I don't need to have the same basic concerns that confront the populace. I can afford to think about the big picture.Not like those damn farmers and their National Party mates who are always trying to discount the effect on the climate of their farting cows and the effects of the trees they chop down."
"If only they would let me lead from the front.Dear me!But I must remember the words of Hull --- 'He who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away'."
" And why have the ALP been able to paint me as the problem here? They have not been able to convince the minor parties either. Penny Wong is smarter than I thought. I under-estimated her.I think they're just using me as distraction to take everyone's minds off the global financial crisis. And that damned Stimulus Package! I wonder if the Australian public will ever realise that they were hoodwinked? Treasury worked out a long time ago that it would pay for itself over a decade with the extra taxes collected from all those poor fools who came forward for their $900 who were not in the tax system. 22000 extra taxpayers in the system at last count!And if its not extra taxes it will be reduced Centrelink payments because the incomes will now be properly caught."
You decide that this is the best time to get up his nose.You lift off gently and head for the hairs in his nasal vortex. He sees you coming and ducks. You land on the mantelpiece. You can see him in a different light from this perspective. A man who could be prime minister---but isn't! A man who wants to be loved by the populace---but isn't! A man with good ideas! A man with a deep sense of wanting to do the right thing by Australia---but who cant!
"Oh dear me", you thought to yourself, "I hope he does not get murdered in the party meeting on Sunday afternoon. He has so much to give and so much to learn"
From the mantelpiece you picked up his parting thought. It was from the management guru Peter Drucker----"It is more important to do the right thing than to do things right".
It was the solace The Blowfly had been looking for and you buzzed off to the kitchen in search of your afternoon tea.
There was a story in the centrepiece, Review, about the writer Leo Tolstoy.Apparently the cause of his death has exacted speculation for many years.The writer speculated that he may've been murdered.He proposed an article entitled "Did Leo Tolstoy Die Of Natural Causes Or Was He Murdered?: A Forensic Investigation"
I saw Malcolm twitch a little and then he did one of those wistful looks out the window that he does so well. Lucy loves them. She has a little romance in her and says that "the wistful look always highlights his beautiful eyes".
But as I tuned into to his thinking I could see that he was pondering the possibility that the same options confronted him .
"It's hard being a blue blood", he thinks to himself, "I don't need to have the same basic concerns that confront the populace. I can afford to think about the big picture.Not like those damn farmers and their National Party mates who are always trying to discount the effect on the climate of their farting cows and the effects of the trees they chop down."
"If only they would let me lead from the front.Dear me!But I must remember the words of Hull --- 'He who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away'."
" And why have the ALP been able to paint me as the problem here? They have not been able to convince the minor parties either. Penny Wong is smarter than I thought. I under-estimated her.I think they're just using me as distraction to take everyone's minds off the global financial crisis. And that damned Stimulus Package! I wonder if the Australian public will ever realise that they were hoodwinked? Treasury worked out a long time ago that it would pay for itself over a decade with the extra taxes collected from all those poor fools who came forward for their $900 who were not in the tax system. 22000 extra taxpayers in the system at last count!And if its not extra taxes it will be reduced Centrelink payments because the incomes will now be properly caught."
You decide that this is the best time to get up his nose.You lift off gently and head for the hairs in his nasal vortex. He sees you coming and ducks. You land on the mantelpiece. You can see him in a different light from this perspective. A man who could be prime minister---but isn't! A man who wants to be loved by the populace---but isn't! A man with good ideas! A man with a deep sense of wanting to do the right thing by Australia---but who cant!
"Oh dear me", you thought to yourself, "I hope he does not get murdered in the party meeting on Sunday afternoon. He has so much to give and so much to learn"
From the mantelpiece you picked up his parting thought. It was from the management guru Peter Drucker----"It is more important to do the right thing than to do things right".
It was the solace The Blowfly had been looking for and you buzzed off to the kitchen in search of your afternoon tea.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
This emissions trading issue will be the making of Malcolm Turnbull
This week The Blowfly is in deep sympathy mode for Malcolm Turnbull.
It seems that each time Malcolm shows leadership his party whips hips him.
And each time he does not show leadership his party whips him.
Perched on his erstwhile shoulder you feel his pain! After all this is the guy who told the late Kerry Packer to get stuffed.And undoubtedly risked his life in the process!
At least he has the support of his wife.
But beyond that he is wondering who will step forward.
"I used to be able to count on Joe Hockey", you hear him thinking.
But then you hear him dismiss that loyalty as a passing phase Joe is going through.Joe would love to get to trade punches with his former Channel 7 panellist, KRudd.
"They should trust me to negotiate anything", Malcolm thinks. "They should put my performance at the Constitutional gathering behind them. I have grown since then.I learn't a lot from John Howard. He never said sorry and nor will I" .
The Blowfly notices his chin dropping and that sad, forlorn look comes over him.
The Blowfly thinks that maybe Malcolm needs to go to see someone trained in NLP so he can rejuvenate the little programme in his mind which releases the positive statements.
Lucy enters with his cup of coffee and a Tim-Tam.
"Why don't they trust a silver-tail to lead them , darling?" he enquires wistfully.
" Because , sweetheart, they are all wankers!" she retorts without a thought.
As she goes on her way he wonders to himself why he is unable to see things as clearly as wife.
Then he recalls the words of Winston Churchill. "They are decided only to be undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, all-powerful for impotence"
The mantle of leadership falls gently upon his shoulders again.The Liberal Party once again has a leader.
It seems that each time Malcolm shows leadership his party whips hips him.
And each time he does not show leadership his party whips him.
Perched on his erstwhile shoulder you feel his pain! After all this is the guy who told the late Kerry Packer to get stuffed.And undoubtedly risked his life in the process!
At least he has the support of his wife.
But beyond that he is wondering who will step forward.
"I used to be able to count on Joe Hockey", you hear him thinking.
But then you hear him dismiss that loyalty as a passing phase Joe is going through.Joe would love to get to trade punches with his former Channel 7 panellist, KRudd.
"They should trust me to negotiate anything", Malcolm thinks. "They should put my performance at the Constitutional gathering behind them. I have grown since then.I learn't a lot from John Howard. He never said sorry and nor will I" .
The Blowfly notices his chin dropping and that sad, forlorn look comes over him.
The Blowfly thinks that maybe Malcolm needs to go to see someone trained in NLP so he can rejuvenate the little programme in his mind which releases the positive statements.
Lucy enters with his cup of coffee and a Tim-Tam.
"Why don't they trust a silver-tail to lead them , darling?" he enquires wistfully.
" Because , sweetheart, they are all wankers!" she retorts without a thought.
As she goes on her way he wonders to himself why he is unable to see things as clearly as wife.
Then he recalls the words of Winston Churchill. "They are decided only to be undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, all-powerful for impotence"
The mantle of leadership falls gently upon his shoulders again.The Liberal Party once again has a leader.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
The ALP must be really worried about Turnbull's prospects
The Blowfly is presently chuckling to himself about the ALP's attempts to undermine Malcolm Turnbull.
In The Blowfly's small brain he is trying to fathom their strategy.
Firstly, after KRudd caught poor old Malcolm out on 'Utegate' you'd think that being silent and letting Malcolm wallow in his own stupidity would've sent a strong message to the Australian voter. KRudd would've looked like the statesman and Malcolm's actions spoke for themselves.
But then KRudd had to go and ask Malcolm to resign. It made KRudd look like a schoolboy who was simply playing 'tit for tat' as they do in school playgrounds around Australia each day. And boy did they 'Labor' the point! Over and over again ad infinitim!It was sickening!
Doesn't he have minders? People whose job it is to stop him from demeaning his image.Well they weren't on board that day.
If Malcolm is such a dunce and the ALP reckon they can knock him off at the next election why are they trying to undermine him. Surely if they think he's that crook then a champion Chess player would allow him to battle on with their encouragement knowing that he's not up to the mark.
Secondly, and to make The Blowfly's Sunday morning, we have the Labor Party trying to push Malcolm through the political floor by disclosing that he tried to join the ALP whilst Hawkie was around.
This says more about how little difference there is between the 2 ends of the political spectrum in Australia than it does about Malcolm Turnbull. The Blowfly has squatted on Malcolm's shoulder. He knows that Malcolm knows that if you are wealthy and you want to make a difference in Australia then you should join one of 2 parties.Being impatient (as Malcolm is) he would have to join the one in power when you first made your move.
From there on in the hurdles are much the same. Its the same old shit!
Both parties have barristers in them. Both have accountants,solicitors, business-people and a sundry range of diverse backgrounds. The Liberal Party does not have the sole rights to wealth and entrepreneurial activity in their ranks. There is also much mixing of blood. Nick Whitlam is an investment banker and I presume Gough is still proud of him.Both parties have arse-holes. Both have intellectuals. Both have egotists. Both have people who have not realised their potential.Both have arrogant big-heads who talk down to everyone else.
The Blowfly thinks , with his minute brain, that even a drover's dog could see that the differentiating features between the policy platforms of the ALP and the Coalition are so slim that a severely drought-effected sheep could slip between them.
The Blowfly thinks that the ALP must really be concerned about Malcolm's capacity to win the next election. That can be the only explanation as to why they are not leaving him to his own devices. They know they would be a shoe-in regarding knocking Abbott, Hockey or Robb off. But Malcolm! Well he could afford to fund the whole election campaign from his own coffers---if it came to the pinch!
So for The Blowfly, KRudd's attacks on Turnbull are all a juicy diversion to the real matters of state. Much like the food refuse bins at the Royal Easter Show divert a fly's attention from the real heart of the Show----the cow shit in the livestock pavilion!
The Blowfly's chest now bulges with pride at the symbolism he has just created.
In The Blowfly's small brain he is trying to fathom their strategy.
Firstly, after KRudd caught poor old Malcolm out on 'Utegate' you'd think that being silent and letting Malcolm wallow in his own stupidity would've sent a strong message to the Australian voter. KRudd would've looked like the statesman and Malcolm's actions spoke for themselves.
But then KRudd had to go and ask Malcolm to resign. It made KRudd look like a schoolboy who was simply playing 'tit for tat' as they do in school playgrounds around Australia each day. And boy did they 'Labor' the point! Over and over again ad infinitim!It was sickening!
Doesn't he have minders? People whose job it is to stop him from demeaning his image.Well they weren't on board that day.
If Malcolm is such a dunce and the ALP reckon they can knock him off at the next election why are they trying to undermine him. Surely if they think he's that crook then a champion Chess player would allow him to battle on with their encouragement knowing that he's not up to the mark.
Secondly, and to make The Blowfly's Sunday morning, we have the Labor Party trying to push Malcolm through the political floor by disclosing that he tried to join the ALP whilst Hawkie was around.
This says more about how little difference there is between the 2 ends of the political spectrum in Australia than it does about Malcolm Turnbull. The Blowfly has squatted on Malcolm's shoulder. He knows that Malcolm knows that if you are wealthy and you want to make a difference in Australia then you should join one of 2 parties.Being impatient (as Malcolm is) he would have to join the one in power when you first made your move.
From there on in the hurdles are much the same. Its the same old shit!
Both parties have barristers in them. Both have accountants,solicitors, business-people and a sundry range of diverse backgrounds. The Liberal Party does not have the sole rights to wealth and entrepreneurial activity in their ranks. There is also much mixing of blood. Nick Whitlam is an investment banker and I presume Gough is still proud of him.Both parties have arse-holes. Both have intellectuals. Both have egotists. Both have people who have not realised their potential.Both have arrogant big-heads who talk down to everyone else.
The Blowfly thinks , with his minute brain, that even a drover's dog could see that the differentiating features between the policy platforms of the ALP and the Coalition are so slim that a severely drought-effected sheep could slip between them.
The Blowfly thinks that the ALP must really be concerned about Malcolm's capacity to win the next election. That can be the only explanation as to why they are not leaving him to his own devices. They know they would be a shoe-in regarding knocking Abbott, Hockey or Robb off. But Malcolm! Well he could afford to fund the whole election campaign from his own coffers---if it came to the pinch!
So for The Blowfly, KRudd's attacks on Turnbull are all a juicy diversion to the real matters of state. Much like the food refuse bins at the Royal Easter Show divert a fly's attention from the real heart of the Show----the cow shit in the livestock pavilion!
The Blowfly's chest now bulges with pride at the symbolism he has just created.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
KRudd's management style.Does it provide the reality check he needs?
Today we find our erstwhile Prime Minister KRudd relaxing on his world tour with The Blowfly firmly ensconced on his shoulder.
The Blowfly seems to have more room to squat because as KRudd's chest has swelled at the pride he feels from leading the initiatives on climate change his shoulders seem to have miraculously increased in size too.Almost as if he is preparing to shoulder more of the burden attracted to him for his positive stance.
Never the shrinking violet, your charge has made all the right moves and you have been there to soak up some of his glory with him. Your charge seems quite a different person to the one who ran Wayne Goss's office when he was the Premier of Queensland.
You notice that as he is sipping his mineral water he is deeply engrossed in the latest issue of Vanity Fair. This is not a magazine that you have seen him read before. You suspect that his new mate Barack might've slipped it to him.
The article that has his deep attention is entitled "The Man Who Crashed The World".It's about Joseph Cassano, the former head of A.I.G.'s Financial Products unit who was at the heart of that company's move into insuring sub-prime mortgages.
Surprisingly, although the article is an expose` on how A.I.G. drifted into insuring these little beasts that are sub-prime mortgages, you see him reading a couple of paragraphs over and over again and pondering them.
KRudd is more interested in the analysis of the way that Cassano made decisions and how it impacted on the company. Cassano created an atmosphere of fear in the unit and that stifled the debate necessary to make robust decisions in a difficult and mobile environment.Cassano's predecessor was a trained mathematician who understood the models used to trade and price the risks they were running . He stimulated and enjoyed debates about these mechanisms.
But Cassano was different. He knew less about maths and was less interested in debate.At a time when this would've been very useful!Very useful indeed!
You can see your erstwhile PM blanch slightly at the reference to Cassano bullying people and then making it up to them by paying them "huge amounts of money".
He reaches for his mineral water, sips, and proceeds to dribble it as he is absorbing the sentence referring to the fear level being so high that when the traders had their regular morning meetings with Cassano they did not want to upset him.So they adopted behaviours that effectively shielded Cassano from the reality of the situation.
You see him look up at the ceiling. You know, when he does this, that there will be an advanced thought appearing shortly. Your antennae goes up to receive it.
" Shit! I hope I haven't created an atmosphere of fear.I remember reading that article recently about my early morning briefings when I'm home and how my staff turnover is high.Cripes! I hope that my minders and advisors are game to tell me the truth. What is the truth? How will I know it if I hear it?"
You see him chuckle to himself as he remembers the definition of truth he saw some years ago. "Truth is what you get from a politician who has given up all hope of being prime minister". He takes another sip of mineral water and returns to the serious stuff.
"I wonder if my minders were right when they asked me to include more vernacular in my comments? 'Fair suck of the sauce-pot' didn't roll that easily off my lips with those journos a month ago.And I'd better brush up on my Mandarin! I might need it before the the year is out trying to sort out this mess between China and Rio Tinto. I think my vernacular will be wasted on the Chinese. And I've been salivating at the opportunity to use Paul Keating's ' a souffle never rises twice' quip but my chances seem to have evaporated. I had Peter Costello lined up with that one when he was going to knock Turnbull off for the Liberal leadership but that's stuffed now."
You hear him check himself and remind himself that he is the Prime Minister and he doesn't have time for frivolous thinking---especially when there is a serious concern to ponder. He returns to his reading matter.
A thought comes into The Blowfly's head.He has just finished reading Peter Fitzsimon's book , "Tobruk". In the epilogue Fitzsimon's reviews the players in this World War 2 drama about Australian determination and heroism.Particularly poignant is his relating of Chester Wilmot's assessment of Alan Morshead, the Australian commander.Wilmot referred to Morshead's "strong insistence on discipline,his determination to retain the initiative and the offensive spirit, his attention to detail and his searching self-criticism". Your minute brain thinks that KRudd could use this statement in his thinking process and you wrap your insight around a bubble in the mineral water and hope that it is taken up by your far superior host.
KRudd takes another sip of the mineral water and you can feel the vibration as his brain cells begin to resonate with the bubbles hitting the back of his throat.
You watch him scratch his ear and pick his nose adroitly (just in case Therese is watching---- as she does at home).
"I need to make sure my minders are telling me the truth---especially about this global financial crisis! I hope Barack is telling me the truth.Maybe I need to go a bit easier on them.I'm not sure I could handle it if it got much worse. Maybe it would be a good idea to lose the next election and hand over to that champagne-drinking mongrel Turnbull?"
"I think I'd better amend my style.Maybe I should indulge in a little more searching self-criticism as Alan Morshead used to do!"
You are proud of your charge. He is really receptive to your inputs.You , a mere Blowfly! Bring on climate change baby!
The Blowfly seems to have more room to squat because as KRudd's chest has swelled at the pride he feels from leading the initiatives on climate change his shoulders seem to have miraculously increased in size too.Almost as if he is preparing to shoulder more of the burden attracted to him for his positive stance.
Never the shrinking violet, your charge has made all the right moves and you have been there to soak up some of his glory with him. Your charge seems quite a different person to the one who ran Wayne Goss's office when he was the Premier of Queensland.
You notice that as he is sipping his mineral water he is deeply engrossed in the latest issue of Vanity Fair. This is not a magazine that you have seen him read before. You suspect that his new mate Barack might've slipped it to him.
The article that has his deep attention is entitled "The Man Who Crashed The World".It's about Joseph Cassano, the former head of A.I.G.'s Financial Products unit who was at the heart of that company's move into insuring sub-prime mortgages.
Surprisingly, although the article is an expose` on how A.I.G. drifted into insuring these little beasts that are sub-prime mortgages, you see him reading a couple of paragraphs over and over again and pondering them.
KRudd is more interested in the analysis of the way that Cassano made decisions and how it impacted on the company. Cassano created an atmosphere of fear in the unit and that stifled the debate necessary to make robust decisions in a difficult and mobile environment.Cassano's predecessor was a trained mathematician who understood the models used to trade and price the risks they were running . He stimulated and enjoyed debates about these mechanisms.
But Cassano was different. He knew less about maths and was less interested in debate.At a time when this would've been very useful!Very useful indeed!
You can see your erstwhile PM blanch slightly at the reference to Cassano bullying people and then making it up to them by paying them "huge amounts of money".
He reaches for his mineral water, sips, and proceeds to dribble it as he is absorbing the sentence referring to the fear level being so high that when the traders had their regular morning meetings with Cassano they did not want to upset him.So they adopted behaviours that effectively shielded Cassano from the reality of the situation.
You see him look up at the ceiling. You know, when he does this, that there will be an advanced thought appearing shortly. Your antennae goes up to receive it.
" Shit! I hope I haven't created an atmosphere of fear.I remember reading that article recently about my early morning briefings when I'm home and how my staff turnover is high.Cripes! I hope that my minders and advisors are game to tell me the truth. What is the truth? How will I know it if I hear it?"
You see him chuckle to himself as he remembers the definition of truth he saw some years ago. "Truth is what you get from a politician who has given up all hope of being prime minister". He takes another sip of mineral water and returns to the serious stuff.
"I wonder if my minders were right when they asked me to include more vernacular in my comments? 'Fair suck of the sauce-pot' didn't roll that easily off my lips with those journos a month ago.And I'd better brush up on my Mandarin! I might need it before the the year is out trying to sort out this mess between China and Rio Tinto. I think my vernacular will be wasted on the Chinese. And I've been salivating at the opportunity to use Paul Keating's ' a souffle never rises twice' quip but my chances seem to have evaporated. I had Peter Costello lined up with that one when he was going to knock Turnbull off for the Liberal leadership but that's stuffed now."
You hear him check himself and remind himself that he is the Prime Minister and he doesn't have time for frivolous thinking---especially when there is a serious concern to ponder. He returns to his reading matter.
A thought comes into The Blowfly's head.He has just finished reading Peter Fitzsimon's book , "Tobruk". In the epilogue Fitzsimon's reviews the players in this World War 2 drama about Australian determination and heroism.Particularly poignant is his relating of Chester Wilmot's assessment of Alan Morshead, the Australian commander.Wilmot referred to Morshead's "strong insistence on discipline,his determination to retain the initiative and the offensive spirit, his attention to detail and his searching self-criticism". Your minute brain thinks that KRudd could use this statement in his thinking process and you wrap your insight around a bubble in the mineral water and hope that it is taken up by your far superior host.
KRudd takes another sip of the mineral water and you can feel the vibration as his brain cells begin to resonate with the bubbles hitting the back of his throat.
You watch him scratch his ear and pick his nose adroitly (just in case Therese is watching---- as she does at home).
"I need to make sure my minders are telling me the truth---especially about this global financial crisis! I hope Barack is telling me the truth.Maybe I need to go a bit easier on them.I'm not sure I could handle it if it got much worse. Maybe it would be a good idea to lose the next election and hand over to that champagne-drinking mongrel Turnbull?"
"I think I'd better amend my style.Maybe I should indulge in a little more searching self-criticism as Alan Morshead used to do!"
You are proud of your charge. He is really receptive to your inputs.You , a mere Blowfly! Bring on climate change baby!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Malcolm Turnbull can afford to take things a little easier and do his homework better.
The Blowfly has well and truly had his mind working overtime during the last few weeks.
Yours truly has been absolutely enthralled by the conversations and tid-bits that have been forthcoming in his nightly forays into the bins around Parliament House's kitchens in Canberra.As the heat in the 'house' increases the taste of the refuse always seems to improve and an atmosphere of "the more the merrier" emerges.
Cousin Cedric , who has always had Liberal views since his birth in the carcase of a dead cat in Sydney's eastern suburbs, first threw a spanner into the workings of your mind when he reminded you of Paul Keating's assessment of Malcolm Turnbull. The notion Keating had was that Malcolm was "brilliant, fearless and lacked judgement".It was not a perspective that you had considered previously. You had always seen him in terms of his liaisons with Kerry Packer and the fortune he'd made from Ozemail.As well you'd heard from reliable sources that his time in John Howard's ministry was positive and he'd really come to grips with the water problem this country has.He'd also jumped through a substantial hoop, in your small mind at least, by winning his seat against overwhelming odds, it seemed at the time.
This Sunday morning it is most appropriate that you find yourself again sitting on Malcolm's shoulder as he ponders his future in politics.He has just finished reading Laurie Oakes' article in the Herald Sun cheekily entitled "Malcolm Turnbull in a china shop".
As he looks out across the harbour he ponders Laurie's conclusions.
"KRudd probably will start trawling over my past. Have I got any skeletons which might screw me? Mmmmm! I hope no-one in the ALP can channel the ghost of Kerry Packer. " He wistfully sips the latte that Lucy has made for him on the new coffee machine."Have I reported all my capital gains to the ATO?" Mmmmmh!
" I did not really want to burn Godwen Grech.He was so helpful. Such a loyal person.Probably Laurie is right. No other public servant will leak to me now.What hypocrites KRudd, Swan, Gillard and Tanner are! We all know they were getting leaks galore when we were in power.Now they throw mud at us when we are receiving inside information."
"And I thought I was on Cloud 9! Peter announcing his retirement from politics made me feel on top of the world. A week certainly is a long time in politics.Maybe I am a bit too pig-headed. Maybe I don't listen to my compatriates enough.Some of them are not as clever as me though! Why would I listen to them? I suppose some of them have more experience than me in politics. God this is a hard one!"
He reaches for his trusted copy of "The Peter Prescription" by Dr Laurence J Peter, (sub-titled 'how to make things go right') for inspiration--- as he so often does.
Pudder's Law hits him in the eye. "Anything that begins well ends badly".He rolls his eyes and you hear him groan.
He then spots one of Hubbard's gems---"Do not take life too seriously;you will never get out of it alive".He smiles a small eastern suburbs smile of recognition.
But then he comes to the one he will hang his hat on today--"It requires a very unusual mind to make an analysis of the obvious" by Whitehead.You know that he is proud of his unusual mind and it gets him going on a new track.
"What is the obvious?", he thinks to himself. So he starts to list 'the obvious' down in his highly developed mind.
"Peter has gone and there are no other leaders in sight except perhaps Hockey.
We are in the worst economic climate in our lifetimes and even we would be struggling to do well in this environment.
KRudd and Swan have the levers and it is a pretty hairy ride for them.It could not happen to a nicer pair!
The only major thing we would've done differently is that we would've put more into infrastructure and creating jobs rather than giving everyone $900 to piss up against the wall.
Now that Peter has gone I don't have to worry about the leadership and hurry too much.In fact I can be downright patient.
KRudd's boys and girls can't all be squeaky clean. Look at Joel Fitzgibbon!
These economic circumstances are putting the blowtorch to the Government's belly of their own accord.I don't really have to try too hard.
Maybe all I have to do is to scratch around the populace and see how its being spent.
Maybe I should start constructing some really spiffy new policies for the next election?
What are the policies that would really capture the imaginations of the swinging voters in this environment."
He takes another sip of his latte. It is stone cold.He thinks about asking Lucy to make him another one but relents.He decides to leave her out gardening and get it himself.He recognises this as an act of humility and placing his wife's interests above his own pleases him immensely.
"Who says I'm not a SNAG?", he thinks to himself.
Back on track with his future he reaches for the phone and telephones Joe Hockey.
Joe's at a picnic with his wife and young family but he has his mobile on.
"Joe, Malcolm here.I've been thinking! Maybe you were right. I'll try and take it a bit more slowly in future. I think these bastards are going to hang themselves."
You feel your heart swell with pride. Your charge has seen the light.
The Blowfly can again rest peacefully.
Yours truly has been absolutely enthralled by the conversations and tid-bits that have been forthcoming in his nightly forays into the bins around Parliament House's kitchens in Canberra.As the heat in the 'house' increases the taste of the refuse always seems to improve and an atmosphere of "the more the merrier" emerges.
Cousin Cedric , who has always had Liberal views since his birth in the carcase of a dead cat in Sydney's eastern suburbs, first threw a spanner into the workings of your mind when he reminded you of Paul Keating's assessment of Malcolm Turnbull. The notion Keating had was that Malcolm was "brilliant, fearless and lacked judgement".It was not a perspective that you had considered previously. You had always seen him in terms of his liaisons with Kerry Packer and the fortune he'd made from Ozemail.As well you'd heard from reliable sources that his time in John Howard's ministry was positive and he'd really come to grips with the water problem this country has.He'd also jumped through a substantial hoop, in your small mind at least, by winning his seat against overwhelming odds, it seemed at the time.
This Sunday morning it is most appropriate that you find yourself again sitting on Malcolm's shoulder as he ponders his future in politics.He has just finished reading Laurie Oakes' article in the Herald Sun cheekily entitled "Malcolm Turnbull in a china shop".
As he looks out across the harbour he ponders Laurie's conclusions.
"KRudd probably will start trawling over my past. Have I got any skeletons which might screw me? Mmmmm! I hope no-one in the ALP can channel the ghost of Kerry Packer. " He wistfully sips the latte that Lucy has made for him on the new coffee machine."Have I reported all my capital gains to the ATO?" Mmmmmh!
" I did not really want to burn Godwen Grech.He was so helpful. Such a loyal person.Probably Laurie is right. No other public servant will leak to me now.What hypocrites KRudd, Swan, Gillard and Tanner are! We all know they were getting leaks galore when we were in power.Now they throw mud at us when we are receiving inside information."
"And I thought I was on Cloud 9! Peter announcing his retirement from politics made me feel on top of the world. A week certainly is a long time in politics.Maybe I am a bit too pig-headed. Maybe I don't listen to my compatriates enough.Some of them are not as clever as me though! Why would I listen to them? I suppose some of them have more experience than me in politics. God this is a hard one!"
He reaches for his trusted copy of "The Peter Prescription" by Dr Laurence J Peter, (sub-titled 'how to make things go right') for inspiration--- as he so often does.
Pudder's Law hits him in the eye. "Anything that begins well ends badly".He rolls his eyes and you hear him groan.
He then spots one of Hubbard's gems---"Do not take life too seriously;you will never get out of it alive".He smiles a small eastern suburbs smile of recognition.
But then he comes to the one he will hang his hat on today--"It requires a very unusual mind to make an analysis of the obvious" by Whitehead.You know that he is proud of his unusual mind and it gets him going on a new track.
"What is the obvious?", he thinks to himself. So he starts to list 'the obvious' down in his highly developed mind.
"Peter has gone and there are no other leaders in sight except perhaps Hockey.
We are in the worst economic climate in our lifetimes and even we would be struggling to do well in this environment.
KRudd and Swan have the levers and it is a pretty hairy ride for them.It could not happen to a nicer pair!
The only major thing we would've done differently is that we would've put more into infrastructure and creating jobs rather than giving everyone $900 to piss up against the wall.
Now that Peter has gone I don't have to worry about the leadership and hurry too much.In fact I can be downright patient.
KRudd's boys and girls can't all be squeaky clean. Look at Joel Fitzgibbon!
These economic circumstances are putting the blowtorch to the Government's belly of their own accord.I don't really have to try too hard.
Maybe all I have to do is to scratch around the populace and see how its being spent.
Maybe I should start constructing some really spiffy new policies for the next election?
What are the policies that would really capture the imaginations of the swinging voters in this environment."
He takes another sip of his latte. It is stone cold.He thinks about asking Lucy to make him another one but relents.He decides to leave her out gardening and get it himself.He recognises this as an act of humility and placing his wife's interests above his own pleases him immensely.
"Who says I'm not a SNAG?", he thinks to himself.
Back on track with his future he reaches for the phone and telephones Joe Hockey.
Joe's at a picnic with his wife and young family but he has his mobile on.
"Joe, Malcolm here.I've been thinking! Maybe you were right. I'll try and take it a bit more slowly in future. I think these bastards are going to hang themselves."
You feel your heart swell with pride. Your charge has seen the light.
The Blowfly can again rest peacefully.
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