Monday, June 17, 2013

What the hell is our Prime Minister thinking?

Many of you, including The Blowfly, have been wondering what our Prime Minister is up to.
While many around around her appear to be pouring water on her she is digging in for the not-so-long-haul-----less than 100 days-----as the Opposition leader tells us each and every single day!
The Blowfly admits that it has taken him a while to get inside her red-head but recently he cracked the code. 
Let me share the fruits of The Blowfly’s code-cracking with you.
There are a number of things on her mind.
Firstly there is Kevin. She knows that he would be an absolute disaster-----not only for the country but for the ALP as well! She considers it to be one of her life’s purpose to keep his forever-waving-to- the-populace’s hands from the levers of power. She knows that a leopard never changes his spots. Every red-head knows that. And she knows that a swearing Christian can never be trusted! And that anyone who finds his own ear-wax enticing will be a disaster.

She also knows that if Kevin returned many of her compatriots in the party would simply depart. They could not work with him and his megalomaniac personality.

The public appear to love Kevin.  However that is only because they are ignorant. They don’t have to work with him. They only see his ‘kissing babies’ side and him coming out of church on Sunday. They have never see , first-hand, his tantrums nor his excruciating micro-management of national issues.

So she is offering herself up as the ultimate sacrifice to the Australian people on this matter.

Then there is the issue of Tony! Dear ‘ole Tony!

She realises now that she made a strategic error in this regard. She fought him in the gutter----and it was his gutter! He tried to tear this Parliament down because he failed to convince the Independents that he was a better prospect for PM than she was. He set about doing what he knew how-----just like university days! He bullied her! He taunted her! He spewed forth his lies! He stooped to new lows in terms of parliamentary behaviour.

She should’ve risen above it. She should’ve conducted herself more like Quentin Bryce has. But it’s hard to fight off constant negativity! Especially when it comes at you over the despatch boxes every day! Wearing a blue tie!

Deep in her heart she that the greatest legacy she can leave for the Australian populace is to find a way that neither Kevin nor Tony can inflict themselves on the running of our country.
She realises that she is more advanced in this objective with Kevin than with Tony.
So now she has to start playing some of the cards she has been saving for this moment.
At a ‘Women for Gillard’ meeting Julia plays the gender card. She starts the process of causing women to think about whether they are really equal and whether Tony Abbott is really a ‘reformed being’ in this regards. She knows that her peers will question her judgement but she is thinking of the big picture---a country free of Kevin and Tony! And blue ties!
She puts it out there and waits for destiny to play its hand.

 Blow me down! Within the week the Universe and Mal Brough serve up a sexist menu at a fund-raising dinner. This gives some traction to proving her point that Abbott is sexist.

 More traction is required but you get the flow of it. And then a group known as the “Jedi Council’ within the Australian army make sure that sexism and women are forever stamped on our minds.
Miraculously a shock jock asks her about Tim’s sexuality and places the icing on the cake. 

She is still reeling from her good fortune but realises she is on a roll. She’d better make the most of it!
Julia rings the President of Indonesia and calls in a favour. Would he be able to issue some new instructions to his Navy and coast guard people? Tell them that if Mr Abbott turns the boats around and sends them back to Indonesia he will consider ordering his navy to turn around the vessels transporting our live cattle to Indonesia. If we turn around the asylum-seekers he will turn around our live cattle. The President cackles quietly at the audacity of a red-head, wonders why he never thought of it before, and agrees immediately. 
Then Julia rings her friend, Barack. Now fully aware as to what the NSA’s intelligence -gathering capabilities is she requests ‘help’ in respect to her mission not to inflict either Tony or Kevin on the Australian people. She suggests that the NSA focus on the Slipper affair and especially what Tony, Christopher Pyne and Mal Brough knew and did! 
She also suggests that if the NSA’s archives are capable of shedding more light on the role Tony Abbott played in the demise of Pauline Hanson, a fellow red-head, that would be helpful.
And to stretch the friendship a little further would Barack be able to provide all the information they have relating to the calls and emails between members of the Opposition and Kathy Jackson and Michael Williamson of the HSU.
She ain’t finished yet!

Now Julia rings Clive Palmer. She tells Clive that she has a plan to use his ‘Titanic’. In conjunction with the Greens, she is going to reverse our present approach to the refugee problem after the election. She recognises the mining industry is going to struggle for the manpower it needs to fulfil its aspirations. She is planning to introduce a Northern Australia visa and she wants Clive’s ‘Titanic’ to become a floating processing and transportation centre. The business model of the people smugglers will be broken once and forever. If she and Tony Abbott could get into Australia for 10 pound so should refugees be able to! As a quid pro quo she needs Clive’s party preferences. He is chuffed and promises to expedite the ‘Titanic’.

Then she rings the ACTU President Ged Kearney and tells her of the grand plan. Julia also tells Ged that each Northern Australia visa will only be issued upon the applicant joining a union. Ged is overjoyed and immediately rings Paul Howes to pass on the good news. Paul immediately endorses her leadership in the media.

Now comes the most delicious call of all! 
Julia rings Gina Rinehart and tells her that she’d like to meet with her secretly ‘to discuss a few issues’. She tells Gina of her initiatives to supply the mining industry with ‘more appropriately-priced labour resources’. As well she is going to appoint Gina, Twiggy, David Gonski, Alan Kohler and David Koch to head up a sovereign wealth fund along similar lines to Norway. The notion is to preserve and invest a portion of the national wealth flowing from our mineral resources for future generations. 
She also tells Gina that she will nominate her for a knighthood for her services to the mining industry. Gina falls for it and immediately makes a donation of $25 million to the ALP. ‘Baroness Rinehart’ has a certain ring to it don’t you think?
And along the way Julia decides it will do her no harm to share a stage on climate change with Arnold Schwarzenegger who just happens to be in Australia on a lecture tour. He reassures her that if she needs him in the election campaign then “I’ll be back!”
So you see that our PM has a few cards she can play yet.
And the Universe still has a few more tricks up its sleeve no doubt.
Above all however she is dedicated to the notion of sacrificing herself for the good of our nation. What more noble task could she dedicate herself to?
Most commentators have said that they can’t see a solution to the political situation she finds herself in.
But she can!
In the words of Jean Guitton, in her renowned “Essay on Human Love”:

“Sacrifice remains the solution of that which has no solution”

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