Sunday, February 26, 2012

Kevin Rudd's Sunday prayer

This Sunday morning The Blowfly was able to spirit himself into Kevin Rudd’s study in his Brisbane home.

Kevin , not surprisingly, was on his knees praying.

Although The Blowfly only has a small brain he was able to recall most of the prayer and it went like this.

“Dear God

It’s Kevin here. Kevin Rudd. You know ……the Dux of Nambour High in 1974.

Although I was an atheist at school you know I am a good Christian now.

I appear at church most Sundays except when I have been out of the country. I hope you have factored that in?

God, my friend, my dear friend, I have a big question to ask you.

Why have you forsaken me in my hour of need?

This is my opportunity, my big opportunity and it is probably the last one I’m going to get unless I completely re-invent myself. And , God, that is such hard work!

Although I am extremely popular with voters I don’t seem to be able to swing my Caucus in behind me. It does not matter how much I try to ignore the fundamentals of my situation I cannot seem to get traction. Most of the Caucus seem to have longer memories than me.

And I thought that all that time spent on Kochie’s show on Channel 7 that produced all those promising poll results would convert into fear in the Caucus. Surely the views of breakfast television viewers are paramount!

And surely a popular Prime Minister is much more important than a government that is well-managed! Surely!

Why can’t they see it my way, God?

And thank you God for pulling Albo in behind me.
(Kevin reflects for a while)

I know you’ve told me previously that I need factional support God but do I really have to rub shoulders with all those union thugs?

None of them speak Mandarin and have honours degrees. And some of them have this strange English twang that I can hardly understand myself.

Dear God, I need your guidance.

Please help me to understand the Australian Labor Party.

Thank you for listening to me.

I have to zip. My fans are waiting for me.”

He reflected for a while longer and then he was gone.

Such is fame!

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