Saturday, June 27, 2009

Malcolm Turnbull can afford to take things a little easier and do his homework better.

The Blowfly has well and truly had his mind working overtime during the last few weeks.

Yours truly has been absolutely enthralled by the conversations and tid-bits that have been forthcoming in his nightly forays into the bins around Parliament House's kitchens in Canberra.As the heat in the 'house' increases the taste of the refuse always seems to improve and an atmosphere of "the more the merrier" emerges.

Cousin Cedric , who has always had Liberal views since his birth in the carcase of a dead cat in Sydney's eastern suburbs, first threw a spanner into the workings of your mind when he reminded you of Paul Keating's assessment of Malcolm Turnbull. The notion Keating had was that Malcolm was "brilliant, fearless and lacked judgement".It was not a perspective that you had considered previously. You had always seen him in terms of his liaisons with Kerry Packer and the fortune he'd made from Ozemail.As well you'd heard from reliable sources that his time in John Howard's ministry was positive and he'd really come to grips with the water problem this country has.He'd also jumped through a substantial hoop, in your small mind at least, by winning his seat against overwhelming odds, it seemed at the time.

This Sunday morning it is most appropriate that you find yourself again sitting on Malcolm's shoulder as he ponders his future in politics.He has just finished reading Laurie Oakes' article in the Herald Sun cheekily entitled "Malcolm Turnbull in a china shop".

As he looks out across the harbour he ponders Laurie's conclusions.

"KRudd probably will start trawling over my past. Have I got any skeletons which might screw me? Mmmmm! I hope no-one in the ALP can channel the ghost of Kerry Packer. " He wistfully sips the latte that Lucy has made for him on the new coffee machine."Have I reported all my capital gains to the ATO?" Mmmmmh!

" I did not really want to burn Godwen Grech.He was so helpful. Such a loyal person.Probably Laurie is right. No other public servant will leak to me now.What hypocrites KRudd, Swan, Gillard and Tanner are! We all know they were getting leaks galore when we were in power.Now they throw mud at us when we are receiving inside information."

"And I thought I was on Cloud 9! Peter announcing his retirement from politics made me feel on top of the world. A week certainly is a long time in politics.Maybe I am a bit too pig-headed. Maybe I don't listen to my compatriates enough.Some of them are not as clever as me though! Why would I listen to them? I suppose some of them have more experience than me in politics. God this is a hard one!"

He reaches for his trusted copy of "The Peter Prescription" by Dr Laurence J Peter, (sub-titled 'how to make things go right') for inspiration--- as he so often does.

Pudder's Law hits him in the eye. "Anything that begins well ends badly".He rolls his eyes and you hear him groan.

He then spots one of Hubbard's gems---"Do not take life too seriously;you will never get out of it alive".He smiles a small eastern suburbs smile of recognition.

But then he comes to the one he will hang his hat on today--"It requires a very unusual mind to make an analysis of the obvious" by Whitehead.You know that he is proud of his unusual mind and it gets him going on a new track.

"What is the obvious?", he thinks to himself. So he starts to list 'the obvious' down in his highly developed mind.

"Peter has gone and there are no other leaders in sight except perhaps Hockey.

We are in the worst economic climate in our lifetimes and even we would be struggling to do well in this environment.

KRudd and Swan have the levers and it is a pretty hairy ride for them.It could not happen to a nicer pair!

The only major thing we would've done differently is that we would've put more into infrastructure and creating jobs rather than giving everyone $900 to piss up against the wall.

Now that Peter has gone I don't have to worry about the leadership and hurry too much.In fact I can be downright patient.

KRudd's boys and girls can't all be squeaky clean.
Look at Joel Fitzgibbon!

These economic circumstances are putting the blowtorch to the Government's belly of their own accord.I don't really have to try too hard.

Maybe all I have to do is to scratch around the populace and see how its being spent.

Maybe I should start constructing some really spiffy new policies for the next election?

What are the policies that would really capture the imaginations of the swinging voters in this environment."

He takes another sip of his latte. It is stone cold.He thinks about asking Lucy to make him another one but relents.He decides to leave her out gardening and get it himself.He recognises this as an act of humility and placing his wife's interests above his own pleases him immensely.

"Who says I'm not a SNAG?", he thinks to himself.

Back on track with his future he reaches for the phone and telephones Joe Hockey.

Joe's at a picnic with his wife and young family but he has his mobile on.

"Joe, Malcolm here.I've been thinking! Maybe you were right. I'll try and take it a bit more slowly in future. I think these bastards are going to hang themselves."

You feel your heart swell with pride. Your charge has seen the light.

The Blowfly can again rest peacefully.

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