Sunday, November 22, 2009

Are there any votes for KRudd holding an inquiry into Scientology?

You know you are alive when you hear the shrill voice of the Prime Minister's wife screaming at him to "get that damned fly".

The Blowfly had realised the biggest coup of his intelligence career. He had managed to penetrate the PM's boudoir.In the inner sanctum he would be able to understand the quality and nature of the pillow talk and the extent to which Therese influences the thinking and decision-making of her husband,the illustrious Kevin07, otherwise known as KRudd.

The Blowfly initially nestled on the inside lip of his bed-lamp while the PM he did his ablutions and readied himself for the Sandman. This is always the best place for annoyance because ,as the Sandman approaches, a good blowfly can start his forays around a bedroom and antagonise his victim to the max.

As he climbs into bed he grabs his reading matter from the bedside table.Therese is already in bed reading.She looks across lovingly at her charge. "What are you reading , darling?".

"I got one of my staff to go to a second bookshop and get me a copy of Ron Hubbard's book, 'Dianetics'. I thought if I was going to come under pressure from that do-gooder Xenophon to hold a parliamentary inquiry into Scientology I should know something about it.And you know what Jo Bjelke-Petersen use to say ---'If you are going to hold a Royal Commission you should know the answer before you agree to it'."

"That's very broad-minded of you darling,"she said, "I don't know why they call you a wanker! You always take civil liberties issues very seriously."

A moment of silence ensues. You can hear his brain click into gear and the wheels start turning.The Blowfly's antennae emerge and the PM's meagre thoughts start finding their way into your minute brain.

"Shit! She always does this to me! And just when I'm trying to wind my poor little brain down so I can get a good night's sleep so I can cope with the day ahead.It takes a lot of neurons and energy to understand what Wayne and Julia are going on with.What civil liberties issues? I thought it was just about giving tax-exempt status to a bunch of loonies who all look up to Tom Cruise for inspiration.Imagine jumping up on Oprah's couch and declaring his love for Katie Holmes. Christ, I cringed when I saw that."

"Civil liberties?
Civil liberties? I'm already being a good Christian and extending the school chaplain's programme that the Lying Rodent started.When I give that speech to the Australian Christian Lobby next week I hope they appreciate that.Who could believe that 2700 schools have hired chaplains under this programme?"

"Ah!Maybe that is what Therese means. Gadzooks! Why didn't I think of that? We need to make sure that the Church of Scientology is represented in this programme.Many school students would still see Tom Cruise as he was in 'Top Gun'.There are a number of high schools around with specialities in the science area.We should ensure that they have Scientology chaplains! Hmmm! I wonder if there are any votes in it? There must be a stack! The Lying Rodent was desperate for votes when he dreamed this one up."

"Darling! I just had a wonderful idea. How about we appoint Scientology chaplains to Science high schools?"

The Blowfly notices her brow crease. She looks at him wistfully over her reading glasses.You can feel the deep soul-searching going on within her. You can feel the deep desire she is resisting to strangle the stupid bastard beside her.

"It's been a big week darling! Edward Woodward died. Peter Cundall was arrested.Ireland was knocked out of the World Cup qualifier with a French hand.You're tired! Close your lovely Queensland eyes and go to sleep.Don't inflict that idea on your adoring public just yet. Let it fester a little."

He smiles a puzzled smile and puts his book down.

And that's when you decided to make your move.

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