Monday, March 29, 2010

Tanner's hypocrisy on Barnaby Joyce is truly delicious

This week The Blowfly has been pursuing hypocrisy.

He has not had to travel far because in politics he is surrounded by it.

In fact there are times when he struggles to free his grimy little feet from the surface or shoulder he has attached himself to because of the layer of hypocrisy.

The layer of hypocrisy he struggled with this week was on the shoulders of Finance Minister, Lindsay Tanner.

Tanner had suggested that Barnaby Joyce was unsuitable as shadow Finance Minister and that Tony Abbott should get rid of him. So when Nick Minchin resigned and Abbott reshuffled his shadow cabinet ,Tanner came out crowing that Abbott had 'bowed to Government pressure'.

The Blowfly was munching on the remnants of an old meat pie at the press conference where Abbott announced his re-shuffle and his strange, demented brain thought that Tony Abbott had engineered a 'master stroke'.One of the few that has emerged recently from the Opposition.

The Blowfly's distant cousin, 'Shithead', grew up in a rubbish bin behind the hospital in Roma and he thought highly of Barnaby. He wasn't really suited to accountancy because he preferred to be out and about rather than behind his desk. The saleyard, the rodeo and the camp-draft were much more appealing to our Barnaby.Not to mention the country show!

This move says a couple of things about Tony Abbott.

Firstly he is prepared to acknowledge his mistakes.

Although one might think that an accountant would be a dead-sitter for Finance shadow minister it was not to be. Accountants are not economists thankfully. So when something doesn't add up for an accountant he is inclined to open his mouth. Economists don't do that because economics is not an exact science. Economics is largely bullshit and in Roma you become a little wary of bullshit. And a 'bullshit artist' is especially on the nose. So in this field it is hard to compete with the likes of Lindsay Tanner who holds a law degree, has worked in a legal firm and in the union movement. These blokes live on bullshit and thrive on it. The Blowfly is a relative expert in the area of bullshit because, at one stage in his life, he grew up on it. Another thing he has to be grateful to Paul Keating for!

And secondly, Abbott has recognised that , in his new shadow portfolio of Regional Development, Infrastructure and Water, our Barnaby should be working to his strengths.

He will know something about these topics. And he will know more about them than Kevin Rudd. And, for that matter, most other people in the Parliament.Even Tony Abbott and, dare I say it, Malcolm Turnbull!

You see,accountants from regional practices do know about regional development. They know what makes businesses tick and what makes them fail. That's something that ascerbic lawyers like Lindsay Tanner ,who did his thesis on 'politics and culture in Brunswick in the late 1920's', would not have a clue about.

And Barnaby will probably know something about water as well.And infrastructure. He's probably travelled more miles on the 'wonderful' country roads that constitute the main infrastructure in rural communities than Tanner has had 'bum pimples'.

The Blowfly says 'go Barnaby'!

And The Blowfly would like to stick it up those wimps in the Canberra Press Gallery who followed Tanner's line of 'Abbott bowing to Government pressure' and removing Joyce to another portfolio. Can't they think for themselves?

Who, in the Coalition, would 'give a rats' as to what Tanner thought about Joyce and the job he was doing?

The Blowfly speculates that any thinking politician, coming up to an election, upon finding that one of his opponents is stupid, will keep to himself about it so that the voters will assess it for themselves and vote accordingly.

That is why the hypocrisy of Lindsay Tanner is of the truly delicious variety.

Blowflies love it! The smell is particularly beguiling and reminiscent of their maggotty childhood.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous2:15 am

    You have failed to actually define any way in which Tanner has been hypocritical. Politically opportunistic maybe, hypocritical no. This piece is decidedly lacking in logical thought.