Monday, August 23, 2010

The 'Boys from the Bush are back in Town'

The first thing you noticed when you entered the room was the big white 10 gallon cowboy hat. It is Bob Katter's trademark.

The Blowfly had managed to find the room where the 'Boys from the Bush' were meeting.

They were deciding how they were going to handle the notion of a 'hung parliament'.

The Blowfly had positioned himself on the lamp stand in Tony Windsor's office, where the 3 were meeting.Out of the corner of The Blowfly's eyes was the dart-board where Tony had Barnaby's photo pinned down by a solitary dart.

Imagine, if you will, that you are any one of these three politicians.

You are an Independent member of the Federal Parliament.You have the support of 60%-70% of your electorate.

You were initially a member of the National Party. But for a variety of reasons you became disenchanted with the Party and you felt that in order to honour your constituents and their aspirations you could serve them best as an Independent.

In Tony Windsor's case your party sought to 'do you in the eye' in a pre-selection tussle and you successfully stood as an Independent in the NSW State Parliament before turning your energies to the Federal arena.

In Bob Katter's case you felt you lacked the sympathetic support of your peers for the needs of your electorate.The National Party accepted the notion that bananas from the Philippines should be imported and bought it to the front of the queue.This was despite the fact that the Keating Government had refused the application because the Phillipines' bananas have 23 diseases that do not exist in Australia.You used your feet to show where your responsibilities laid------- to the people (and particularly the banana growers) of your electorate!

You have no great love for the Coalition.

You have to return to your electorate each weekend and live among the people who placed great faith in you when they voted you in.

You've had to play the 'Independent's game'.

Mostly you are sneered at because you don't belong to a political party. You are a 'crackpot' who believes that the real power lies in not being a member of a political party. Many people have advised you to see a psychiatrist.

But they have not learnt the subtleties of your vocation.

Whichever party is in power you are able to talk to them. You talk constructively about the needs of your electorate and you simply chisel away at the government. A representation here, a representation there, a good idea here, a way to create synergies here and so on and so on.

When the Government changes, the game stays the same. You just keep chiselling away at them for the needs of your electorate.Most of your constituents understand the game but they are continually tested in their beliefs as the other parties continue to stand candidates against you and call you an 'idiot' behind your back. Especially the National Party.

What the broader electorate does not realise is that you are consistently getting runs on the board. This is happening because both sides
of government know that one day they may need you to support them to form a government.

You have not been cocky or smart. You have been extremely patient for your day to come.And not everyone in the broader community knows about your successes because neither side of politics wants to admit they are dealing with you.

That would, after all, be hypocritical of them. And, as well as that, more Independents might appear on the scene when they realise how effective a good Independent can be.

Your day has now come!

A hung Parliament. What every Independent prays for!

You have the opportunity of a lifetime and -----YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BLOW IT! You have preparing for this day all your parliamentary life.

You are going to be very strategic, very careful and you will breathe very deeply before you open your mouth.

The Blowfly is excited big time. His shitty little feet can not stay still.

The conversation between the 3 Independents starts off like this.

Katter: Well gents we made it! Now we can get to work. Let's list our priorities.

Windsor: We'll need to get that National Broadband Network in place so we can facilitate new employment growth, business and education opportunities in regional areas.

Oakeshott: Yeh! My internet was down again last night.

Katter: We'll need to break up the Coles-Woolworths duopoly. They are costing my constituents big-time. We need at least 2 other large chains competing for our farmers' produce. And I'm stuffed if we are going to let any more banana imports in.

Oakshott: We need a new hospital in my electorate and a dual lane highway all the way to Brisbane from Taree.

Windsor: Well I have consulted my people on a range of matters concerning health, education, communications, community services, employment, disability services, regional development and infrastructure. We'll need to weave most of those matters into our agenda.

Oakeshott: This is going to be fun!

Windsor turns up his CD player. The music of Lee Kernaghan emanates from it.

"We're the boys from the bush and we're back in town
Well the dogs in the back and the foot goes down
We're life members of the outback club
We're the boys from the bush come in from the scrub"

The words of George W Bush flash through your head: "They misunderestimated me."

And the words of Hull: 'He who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away".

"Not much chance of that happening here," thinks The Blowfly.

"Not much at all!"

1 comment:

  1. Myles H4:07 pm

    I think it's very likely Bob Katter will be our next PM