Monday, March 08, 2010

Has Kevin bitten into too much this time?

This Sunday morning The Blowfly is aloft the Prime Minister's ailing shoulders as he reads the weekend newspapers.

Of particular interest to him is Michelle Grattan's article in the Saturday paper.

Entitled "Who is the real Kevin Rudd?" the PM is goggled eyed as he absorbs the observations about himself. Grattan raises the question as to whatever happened to "Sunrise' Kevin,' the articulate, engaging frontbencher who sparred with Joe Hockey?'

He rests for a while. His eyes close. It has been a heavy week. There is lots to do with an election approaching. The Blowfly tunes into his tired brain to get a handle on his thoughts as they dribble through his grey matter.

"What did happen to 'Sunrise' Kevin?............it was so easy in those days.........I could spruik off without having to come up with the goods...........now it's just damned hard work.........I never knew how chaotic being in office could be..........God, it takes a lot to get public servants and Cabinet Ministers working as hard as they should.........anyone would think that they want to have lives of their own.........Why cant they be like I am?........(and at this point he breaks into a little song)....Perfect in every way! Oh whats the matter with ministers and public servants today?" You see him smile a wet Queensland smile. One that Anna Bligh would be proud of.

He opens his eyes and returns to his newspaper.

He focuses on the Western Australian Treasurer's quote about him. Troy Buswell makes the pertinent observation that if the Commonwealth Government cant manage a programme to put insulation batts into peoples houses they can hardly trust them to run a hospital system that looks after our kids and parents.

"Fucking Western Australians', he thinks to himself,"They're all so sanctimonious. Brian Burke was the same.........I thought Peter Garrett was going to be ok with those batts........but he stuffed that too........I hope he doesn't stuff our policy on whales and the Japanese.........Oh god! I'll bet he does......who am I going to put in to look after that..........what would John Howard do?........he owes me few favors after I got him a guernsey for that ICCC job..........no......... if I ring I probably would have to talk to Janette first and I know that she hates me for destroying her husband's political ambitions."

He closes his eyes again. 'Cloud cuckoo land' comes to him.

Into his mind comes his pre-election agenda and problems."The ETS.New standard curriculums.The Murray-Darling Basin problems. The global financial crisis. Obama's visit.Whaling.The Henry Report............zzzzzzzzzz............who are we going to get to manage these issues?.........zzzzzzzzzz................."

And suddenly..................

He ponders the National Broadband Network and the takeover of the nation's hospital system together.At the same time. Simultaneously!

At that point his brain explodes.Grey matter everywhere. Queensland neurons all over the place.

It was simply too much for a mere mortal from the Labor side of politics to deal with.

All you can now hear are the voices of Mel and Kochie making soothing noises about appearing on 'Sunrise' again.

You conclude that you should find another shoulder to perch upon.

"Where is the office that big, tall bastard from Midnight Oil? If he is a 'first class minister' he might be worth a visit!"

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