Sunday, June 27, 2010

KRudd needs some strong mothering by the new PM.

It was simply ecstasy!

With his eyes shut The Blowfly was enjoying the exquisite smell of perfume.

From his position on Julia's shoulder he was soaking up the moment and savoring a small blessing never before bestowed on any fly in Australia.

No PM's shoulder had been so delicious. With KRudd there had been the ear-wax and the dandruff.... but this! This was something special! A mixture of the aroma's of perfume and hairspray which warmed the cockles of The Blowfly's heart----annnnnnd---the lovely mop of red hair! The mop of red hair that The Blowfly has always found strangely exciting----in a political sort of way of course!

This was her first Sunday as PM. She was sitting in the couch in the PM's office mentally preparing for her meeting with KRudd. The press had been onto this meeting like the proverbial 'rat up the drain-pipe'.As she slowly sipped her tea she was relaxed with her new position. The Blowfly listened carefully to her inner dialogue. It went like this.

"What am I going to do with Kevin?"

" Are there any portfolios that need micro-managing?......... Are there any portfolios that need a minister who does his 'nana when he gets frustrated?..........Are there any portfolios where the minister must speak Mandarin?.............Are there any portfolios where the department head already gets into the office at 5am?...........Are there any department heads who would really appreciate the opportunity to work with Kevin?......Are there any department heads who don't have a mind of their own and prefer not to be consulted?....................."

Her heart is heavy as she wrestles for an answer. An answer which in her heart she already knows.

She is also well aware the the women of Australia are watching her carefully and wanting her to pull a rabbit out of a hat---- as they so often do!

She picks up The Sunday Age and starts flicking through.

On page 6 an article headline catches her eye: "Dumped and in the dumps: the road ahead". It is an expose' on how KRudd may find the coming months troublesome and the mental challenges he faces after his dumping.

The new PM notes the comments of Dr Simon Moss, a Monash University organisational psychologist that "Mr likely to become more irritable and emotionally vulnerable"

"Shit", you hear her think, "just what I suspected!"

"I'll have to molly-coddle the poor pathetic bastard.Bloody men! Therese will never forgive me if I don't give him something constructive to do. He'll be moping around the house all day long feeling sorry for himself when she wants to get on and grow her business.God, what am I going to do?"

A new line of think emerges from her nimble brain.

"What would Margaret Whitlam have done?........What would Maggie Thatcher have done?.......What would Golda Meir have done?......What would Susan Peacock have done?.......that's easy......she would've found a new husband of course!.......(The Blowfly notes that beguiling smile across the PM's face).....what would Janette Howard have done?........oh dear me what am I rambling about?.....this is about me.....what would I do?"

Just then you hear this faint knock on the door an KRudd's pale face appears. He has rings under his eyes and it looks as though he has been crying.

"Come in Kevin and make yourself comfortable. I've been thinking about your future."

The former PM quietly sinks into the visitor's couch.

"I want you to become my Special Minister of State.
Remember how you 'hit the ground reviewing'?You'll be in charge of all those damned reviews you started but never finished.That will take you through until the election.And then we'll talk again!Oh! And can you see what Peter Garrett is up to and report back?"

The Blowfly was so proud of her empathetic ,incisive action. He remembered the words of Ronald Reagan when he had described Margaret Thatcher as "the best man in England". The Blowfly felt a growing warmth in his heart for the new PM.She was certainly 'the best man in Australia'----in his huge eyes!

"And Kevin you're a good reader I know. There are some books I recommend you read.Firstly "The 80/20 Principle" by Richard Koch. Then "Managing Management Time" by Bill Oncken. And Peter Drucker! You should read some of his stuff as well."

"And Kevin I want you to re
member another thing that my mother once told me:"It's better to be a nobody who accomplishes something than a somebody who accomplishes nothing.""

As he leaves the office you change the direction of your antennae and tune into his thoughts.

"Bitch! I should've married her!That's what Therese would've said."

"I thought that this was to be a negotiation."

The Blowfly notes that KRudd has never seen Paul Lyneham's definition of 'negotiation':"A form of persuasion so subtle that the bruises don't show."

The Blowfly takes his leave and ponders the words of Hurst:"A woman has to be twice as good as a man to go half as far".

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