Monday, June 21, 2010

KRudd should take more notice of his wife---like Howard did!

"Don't you dare swear at me in Mandarin", she said rather crossly and with some venom in her voice.

"And if you start another sentence off with 'Well, you know something Therese' or 'Can I say to you Therese' I will truly reach over and rip your testicles out".

The Blowfly at that moment fell off the bed-head, where he had positioned himself, and rolled down behind the PM's pillow still overcome with the stitches of the belly laugh that had overcome him.

As The Blowfly recovered himself and headed off towards the PM's bed-lamp he could hardly wait to hear the rest of this fascinating 'pillow discussion' between Australia's first lady and her 'rapidly-fading-at-the-polls' Mandarin-speaking husband.

"I don't want to be like Janette Howard. I have a business of my own. She had nothing in her life but her darling little husband.She had reasons to feed him all that bullshit about 'the Party wanting him to stay' and 'no-one else could do it' but I don't."

KRudd was cowering in his bed clutching his pillow for security and trying to find some new ways of starting his sentence---now that his favorite ways had been derided so succinctly by his darling wife. She continued.

"I guarantee you Kevin, if you walk into any pet shop in Australia the resident galah will be talking about how Julia could do a better job than you running the country," she exclaimed.

KRudd smiled timidly. Paul Keating was alive after all, he thought. And he loved her all the more when she got cross at him because she would often come out with a little political gem.

"I love you , Pumpkin" the PM said, fluttering his eye-lids at her lovingly, from the security of his pillow.

"Don't butter me up with that 'Pumpkin' shit. I'm serious," Therese retorted.

"I want you to go out on top.You could be the hero of your time. The Duke of Windsor of the internet age.You would protect your legacy and you would also make Julia the first woman Prime Minister for Australia. She would do a tremendous job. and you could coach her in Mandarin so she'll be more like you. We have Skype now darling!You could do it face-to-face.And she will drive Tony Abbott crazy with her red-hair and beguiling smile.I'd like to see that! And I'll introduce her to my hair-dresser.She'll be great!"

"You could go and do all those 'big-noting' things until that UN appointment comes up. You could help Barack fix the oil-spill in the Gulf of Mexico.You could find out how Paul Hogan avoided all that tax.You could travel more.Are there any places you haven't been?"

"For God's sake leave the Resource Super Profits Tax to Julia. She has the balls to take them on.She has the management skills and the savvy. She runs more departments than you do and she doesn't have to get up as early as you. She could run the country with one arm behind her back." Therese eased off for a second.

And then she hit him between the eyes.

"It is better to be a nobody who accomplishes something than a somebody who accomplishes nothing."

That hurt! The Blowfly saw the PM's face falter and a little tear come into his eye.

You see him thinking. Your antennae went up. His thought came into your head.

"Therese is probably right.It's great to be great but it is greater to be human. Will Rogers I think!The problem is finding the face-saving way to abdicate. Joe Hockey will laugh at me.And what would Barack think?"

He looked her in the eye."Darling you are right. Absolutely right!Now come and give me a cuddle. I want to go out on top!But go easy because I don't want to do a 'Billy Snedden'.Although that would give Julia a straight run.Mmmmmm."

The Blowfly rolled his eyes at the directness of his carnal instincts but knew it was time to depart----after all this is a family blog!

As he buzzed off The Blowfly recalled the words of
Allen: "Man has made his bedlam;let him lie in it."

1 comment:

  1. ""I guarantee you Kevin, if you walk into any pet shop in Australia the resident galah will be talking about how Julia could do a better job than you running the country," she exclaimed."

    How prophetic!

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