Monday, May 02, 2011

Our Prime Minister's fashion sense is emerging

Recently The Blowfly was sitting on Tim Mathieson’s shoulder to get a feel for how it is to be in the ‘first bloke’s’ shoes.

He seems to be a friendly sort of galoot and takes his role of supporting our PM very seriously. He does more ceremonial waving than previous consorts have done. And he also advises her on her hair. That is something no previous partner has dared to do. Even Janette Howard! She advised her husband on political matters but he was allowed to choose his hairstyle.

Julia had promised him a special preview of the outfit she would wear to the Royal wedding. She was really excited about a little personal parade for ‘her man’.

I am sitting on Tim’s shoulder. The PM appears from the dressing room entrance wearing her now-memorable silver-cream jacket and navy skirt. A navy fascinator adorns her head. She appears tentative about what Tim might think.

Tim is sitting comfortably in his armchair for the private viewing.

The Blowfly was able to tune into his thoughts. They went like this:

“Bloody hell!............ what a woman?....... what a woman?............ she’s absolutely beautiful…………. I do wish she would marry me!............... WTF is that thing on her head?.......... it looks like a sort of shade cloth………….perhaps it’s a replica of the Radio Telescope at Parkes………or a satellite dish maybe………..I better make all the right noises…………….”

“Wow”, he says with genuine appreciation of the sight before him, “that looks fantastic. I need to do little work on your hair. Quentin Bryce eat your heart out! Even if she wears hot pink!”

The Blowfly amazingly finds Julia’s thoughts also coming into his head.

“God, I hope he likes it!...........I hope my bum doesn’t look too big in this………..I hope this navy fascinator works………the lady at Myer told me that if I wore this the congregation at Westminster Abbey wouldn’t notice my bum……….he’s looking at me in a funny way……………..God, it works………I really can read Tim’s thoughts………those spooks at ASIO are magicians ……..I thought they were bullshitting me when they said they could build an antenna into it so I could read the thoughts of those around me at the Abbey……….a girl can never have too much information............does it really look like a replica of the Radio Telescope at Parkes?...........or a satellite dish?..........typical bloody man!......he’s not going to tell me what he really thinks about it……….”

She puts her hands on her hips, smiles and sashays in front of him.

“I know what you are thinking Tim, so be careful what you say.”

The Blowfly feels him flinch a little.

“Tim, I know you think my fascinator looks like the radio telescope, but it’s actually a mind-reader. You will have to get used to it. I’m going to need all the help I can get going forward, especially when I’m talking to Bob Brown. So the best way you can help is to work with ASIO to get this damn thing smaller so people don’t notice it.”

Then she thinks to herself: “I hope they don’t make it too small though. Because it will distract them from my bum.”

No comments:

Post a comment