Tuesday, January 17, 2012

2012: Kevin Rudd's thoughts

The Blowfly invites you to suppose, for a few brief minutes, that you have committed hideous crimes against humanity in a previous life and in order to purge your otherwise perfect soul you have reincarnated as none other than Kevin Rudd.

As part of your pain and suffering you are a resident of Queensland.

But not only are you a Queenslander, you are also a ‘Queensland politician’.

Oh dearie me!

Other Queensland politicians have, and now include, such renowned figures as Joh Bjelke-Petersen and his wife Lady Flo, Russ Hinze, Wayne Swan and …………….Bob Katter, of course!

The term intellectual has never been associated with these names-----nor for that matter with Queensland.

So for that reason you were the brightest star on the horizon in 2007.

Queensland was hoping that you would rise far above the horizon and allow wisdom about it’s quirky ways and unique needs to be distributed via your then silver-tongue.

But just as you did with Wayne Goss, when the levers of power were available to you, there was a rush of blood to your head.

You bullied. You cajoled. You swore. You made lots of behind-the-scenes phone calls. You kept important people waiting whilst you attended to minutiae.

In short, you were a bastard!

But somehow you believe that Australia would be best served by being in the hands of a bastard like you.

You have been stoking the fires with a few strategic leaks.

You love stirring the pot---although you hated people stirring it when you were PM!

After all, besides jetting all over the world , meeting world leaders and participating in lots of earth-shaping discussions what fun do you have nowadays?

You scan the newspapers daily to find a new area that would benefit from your considerable expertise and experience.

Despite your deep and abiding interest in comebacks you refrain from telephoning Ian Thorpe to advise him on his efforts to win more medals. It’s Julia’s job to mix with sportspeople now she is PM. Your phone call might be construed inappropriately.

You have thought about telephoning Hilary Clinton to provide condolences about the video of 3 marines urinating on Taliban fighters in the lead-up to peace negotiations. But on reflection you feel that the Yanks have been urinating on us since before the Second World War. That would be hypocritical!

You have refrained from ringing the guy who received 75 lashes for blasphemy in a Muslim country because you realize that there but for the grace of God go you! Although you are a Christian, with your track record, you probably would’ve got 150 lashes if they’d heard your efforts.

You are disappointed that you weren’t given a chance to show your considerable diplomatic skills when the 3 activists boarded the whaling ship. But then you applaud yourself by justifying Japan’s back-down because they knew they’d have to deal with you.

So this is what you are reduced to!

Waiting for something to occur that you can bend your considerable intellect to.

The Blowfly recalls the words of Housman: "I do not know upon what subject he will next employ his versatile incapacity."

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