Wednesday, August 15, 2012

The Challenges of Being Tony Abbott's Guardian Angel

The Blowfly would like you to stretch your minds and imagine that you in a peculiar sort of purgatory.
You have had many past lives and you are presently serving time as a Guardian Angel.
This involves guiding and nurturing and, sometimes, an unbelievable wincing as your charge goes completely against a universal law or a simple principle that you managed to get implanted into their brain by a well-meaning intermediary-----perhaps a mum, a school teacher or even a parish priest!
As a Guardian Angel you are also aware that being stretched by your charge is also part of the game.
You are still learning as are they.
But presently you are really up against a wall.
You seem to have inordinate difficult teaching your charge that he should not tell lies.
As background, The Blowfly can advise that your charge is possessed of a strong Catholic background.
There was a time when you would’ve happily delegated lessons on telling the truth to the nuns.
But your charge mystically seems to have been insulated from that lesson.
You were hopeful that in high school his Catholic surroundings and a gentle introduction to the views of the Jesuits would’ve started the delicate shaping of his mind in the direction you had planned.
But still your charge maintained a remarkable ability to insulate himself from the benefits of telling the truth.
At University your charge excelled academically but showed even more resistance to the value of telling the truth. He also developed a few other traits which caused you concern.
He showed an interest in politics.
This was particularly troubling because you knew that if he ventured in this direction his appreciation of the benefits for  being truthful would never eventuate.
You breathed a sigh of relief when he chose to join the priesthood and serve the Creator.
At last you felt there was a hope that he might amount to something and possibly also contribute to the betterment of mankind----and for that matter Australia!
You did wonder how he would trim his interest in women and his tendency to treat them with disdain. You were also a little concerned about how he would deal with his streak of bully-boy which had developed in his latter years at university.
But hell, this is a loving Universe, and it works in mysterious ways, and after all as a mere Guardian Angel what would you know!
Then your plans for him started to unravel rather unfortunately.
He left the priesthood and started a career in journalism.
It was then that you became suspicious that other powerful dark forces at work in this Universe were interested in your charge.
You came to understand that this other force was countering all your best efforts.
This other force was not to be trifled with.
You became aware that you may’ve lost your charge to the dark forces but you never gave up.
You saw your charge get a Federal seat, become a Minister and then become Leader of the Opposition.
Then one day he found himself as the leader of an opposition in a hung parliament.
His day had indeed come!
Your charge became very effective as the Opposition leader by keeping it simple.
He was able to take changes in circumstances and portray them as lies. He used 3-word slogans very effectively. He massaged the media with aplomb.
He was on track to become Prime Minister.
And then your day came!
The day when you would be able to seize your charge from the clutches of the dark forces.
Your charge went one morning to confession in St Mary’s Cathedral in Sydney.
He found himself extremely troubled.
“Father, father I have sinned”, he began.
“My son’” the priest said, “what could possibly be troubling you so much?”
“Father, I have lied to the people of Australia for my own political gain. I told them that the carbon tax would cause the Australian economy to be decimated.”
“In my heart I knew that it would not be because I knew that Treasury would get the calculations right and that no public servant would let any reform through that would decimate the economy because their jobs would be on the line.”
“And, father, I just don’t seem to be able to stop with this lie.”
“Power prices are going up and I’m blaming it all on the carbon tax. I know that is not the reason.”
“And I’m starting to look like a straw man because my own energy minister and Malcolm Turnbull have both effectively caught me out.”
“Oh dearie me, father, what am I to do?”
You as his Guardian Angel know that this is your moment.
You use your best telepathic powers to get the correct response into the priest’s head.
It was going to be along the following lines:
“The Creator forgives all sins, my son, providing you are repentant and you work within the light going forward. You will need to commit yourself to telling the truth from this point on. Because once you tell a lie you will find that you have to tell another to cover the first one up. And so on and so on.”
At that point you experienced a great degree of static and you realized that the dark force was also in the priest’s head.
The words that came from the priest’s mouth were not yours.
“My son”, said the priest, “you will find that you will be able to cover up the truth for a long time.”
“If you want to have the levers of power you should persist with your current strategy-----but you might have to make the lies bigger!”
It was then that you, Tony Abbott’s Guardian Angel, realized that the embrace of the Catholic Church had not been of benefit to your charge.
For some reason the Dalai Lama came into your head and that thought has been there ever since.
Your charge, bless his soul, needed more Dalai Lama and less George Pell!
But, as we all know, life is a bitch, and we don’t always get what we need!
Or do we?

1 comment: