Monday, December 21, 2009

Climate Change , Christmas and Conroy's Internet Filter.

The Blowfly’s week has been rather busy coming up to Xmas. But he has an important decision to make before too much longer.


It’s not that The Blowfly has to consider his own family because the blowfly community, long ago, decided that their celebrations would simply be held wherever the best garbage could be found. Being independent insects they could never agree on this and so they go their own germy and infectious ways.

He has considered spending it with the Prime Minister and his family.

No doubt there will be the Xmas tree and the presents that Kevin’s minders were able to acquire for him for his family in Copenhagen. And the normal Queensland Xmas fare consisting of a plate of Moreton Bay Bugs washed down with a copious supply of XXXX lager or a good Sav blanc.

But then would come the post-mortem on Copenhagen. Oh dearie me! This would be painful. Probably enough to spoil the pudding and the brandy sauce.

You can imagine the high Kevvie will still be on. Meeting the world’s leaders, talking about commitments and disasters if we don’t do anything. Spinning a good light on the whole show. His head would still be ringing from the dizzy heights. There will be much good cheer to be had.

But then after the belly-filling lunch Kevvie and Therese would head upstairs for a quiet kip. It’s been a tiring week—even for a veteran traveller and climate –change believer. A snooze would be sorely-needed.

As he settles down with his head on the pillow it is Therese who lightens the day. She has obviously had Kevvie’s future on her mind.

“Kevvie, darling, have you ever pondered doing the Copenhagen sort of thing full-time? You seem to get so much satisfaction from these matters overseas. You’re just like Gough! A natural- born statesman! In Australia you have 8 disjointed state and territory governments. You cant even get them to agree on sharing rainfall, railways, education, health care, roads and just about everything else. And your style is much more suited to telling people what they should do rather than listening! That’s why you have such a soft spot for Malcolm Turnbull.”

Laying replete with a gut-full of Xmas cheer Kevvie’s brain moves towards motion. His eyes roll backwards in his head as an expression of disappointment in the rest he was about to give his sweet and deserving Mandarin-speaking body.

“ Sweetheart there is something I need to tell you”. He puts his hand on her arm re-assuringly.

“ I would need to feel a little more secure about climate change before I took that step. Any day now some smart-arse scientist may find some categorical evidence that humans are not having the effect on global warming that we are ‘beating-up’. The sun may indeed be getting hotter. The lack of sunspot activity may indeed be causing the planet to cool. There is also this German guy, Professor Mojib Latif, who is now batting for the ‘other side’. He reckons that the strong warming effect that we experienced during the last decades will be interrupted. Temperatures will be more or less steady for some years, and thereafter will pickup again and continue to warm. He is admitting the climatology models currently in use are wrong. None of these predicted the Earth cooling now. They all predicted an acceleration of warming. If the models are that bad at a time period of 10~15 years, how can they have any credibility at 50~100 years?"

Therese’s Xmas lunch suddenly doesn’t taste so good. Her tummy rumbles.

Kevvie continues. ”However if Stephen Conroy can get this Internet filter thing through the Parliament I might consider your suggestion further!”

Therese looks at him in a puzzled fashion. The brandy sauce is also repeating on her.

“An internet filter system will allow us to keep most of the truth about climate change from the public. They all think we’re trying to protect the kids. But we’re trying to protect the citizens. Just like they do in the US!”

“ It will be a 2-pronged approach. I am also watering down the role of Cabinet too. I don’t like too much scrutiny for my fantastic ideas! John Howard first alerted me to the tactic of avoiding Cabinet with ‘big-money’ decisions. You remember that $10 billion ‘water plan’ he announced for the Murray-Darling and how we discovered later that it did not get to Cabinet? Well our $42 billion stimulus package did not go to Cabinet either. I pissed myself with joy when Wayne Swan told me he had legal advice that we did not need to take it to Cabinet. And you can’t trust Cabinet either! I remember once seeing Cabinet defined as a ‘group of senior Ministers sworn to secrecy until the first edition of the morning newspapers’. Too true unfortunately!”

“But Kevvie, I don’t understand dear!” she stammers. “ Prohibition of any kind has always failed. It just passes the costs on to some other section of society. So if you prohibit Australians from watching all that sex on the Internet they will find some other way to exercise their depraved minds and it will cost the taxpayer more.”

There is no answer. None at all! The poor little dear Mandarin-speaking husband of hers has finally succumbed to his Xmas lunch and is sound asleep.

Therese considers her options. Will she wake him to illuminate him about the issues with prohibition of some information flows to the populace? Or will she just let him blunder on and try to correct his pathway after Xmas when his brain is not so full of complex thoughts.

She recalls the quote of Badelaire, “What is irritating about love is that it is a crime which requires an accomplice.”

The Xmas pudding gets the best of her and her eyes close peacefully.

The Blowfly decides to spend Xmas with the Conroy’s.He figures it could not be less entertaining.

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