Monday, December 07, 2009

Could the Liberals be positioning Julie Bishop to be our first female PM?

They say that 'a week is a long time in politics'.For The Blowfly this has been an understatement to say the least.

The Blowfly was very grateful for his recent foray into KRudd's ear wax because, frankly, his germy little feet have struggled to attach themselves securely to the shoulders of the various players during the week.It's all been like a whirlwind.

Let's start with the meeting between Turnbull and Hockey. The Blowfly chose to be 'on the wall' for this one so he could see both faces. Let me provide a brief account.

Turnbull (sitting supremely confidently in his Opposition Leader's chair): "Thanks for coming Joe. Our plan seems to be working. I've been channelling Sir Robert Menzies this morning and he is very pleased with progress. My superiors at Goldman Sachs have been on the phone and they are also happy.By giving the Party Room essentially the same leadership option we are a dead 'cert' to pick up a majority of votes and get this ETS thing through. We'll all be rich!And I think our plan to make Julie Bishop Australia's first female PM is looking good too.I just hope that she hasn't slept with Tiger Woods like everyone else has.Her loyalty in serving the Party will finally be rewarded.It's such a shame that she lives so far away from civilisation in Western Australia.Its very tiring flying back and forwards from there to Canberra. I hope she's up to it."

Hockey ( belching profusely after a hearty breakfast):" Well, Little Johnny was also very supportive of our 'double or nothing' strategy. I thought I was in trouble when I saw Janette sitting in the chair outside his home office but she smiled at me and winked. I knew from that wink she had approved what he was going to tell me.He seemed keen to get as many of his policies from the last election through this Parliament as possible. We only talked for a few minutes and spent the rest of the time talking about George W Bush and his liking for the Midnight Oil song,'Beds are Burning'. He also asked me about Fran Bailey's health. I wasn't even aware that she was crook, but he seemed very concerned.As I left,John said that Janette thought it was a nice touch promoting a woman like Julie Bishop to be our first female PM.WA may be a long way away from Canberra Malcolm, but that's where Twiggy Forrest and Gina Rinehart and all those other rich mining bastards live.We have to remember that we have to fund the next election. Don't you feel like its a big Chess game.An Abbott, a Bishop and lots of pawns."

Malcolm nodded with a knowing Vaucluse-type of smile.

The two shook hands and motivated each other with a hearty "let's go and get'em"

Malcolm leant back in his chair to enjoy his solitude for a moment. You buzzed over , landed on his shoulder and tuned into his thoughts. You picked up a little song he was singing in his head. It went like this: "Oh Lorrrd it's harrd to be humble, when you're perrrfect in evvvery way." It was catchy and you felt yourself feeling a little jaunty.

Then to the Party Room for the meeting. The Blowfly sat up the back so you could see the perspective of the gathered. You noted that Fran Bailey was absent.

It was a cracker of a meeting. You should've seen the looks on everyone faces when the final results were announced.You now understood the relevance of Little Johnny's inquiry as to Fran Bailey's health. Some were agog. Some were ecstatic.

Tony Abbott was ecstatic---probably for the first time since his monastery days!

Julie Bishop was ecstatic---her path to being Australia's first female PM was on track.

But Malcolm and Joe were not ecstatic. They were solemn.They had succeeded---but they had failed!

No ETS, but Julie Bishop was over the line.

Malcolm is alone with his thoughts: "If you are hunting rabbits in tiger country, you must keep your eye peeled for the tigers, but when you are hunting tigers you can ignore the rabbits."

Joe is pondering also:"The obscure we see eventually, the completely apparent takes longer."

Tony has his chest bulging to his fullest.You tune into his thoughts instantly. "This is going to be fun", he thinks to himself. "I'd better get myself some new budgie-smugglers to win the female vote. This is going to be dead-easy. Johnny told me I should go onto win the next election and then make a promise to handover to Julie during the term after that. He reminded me that it worked for him.Boy I didn't know that he was able to channel Sir Robert Menzies.No wonder he was such a great Prime Minister."

You smile a knowing Blowfly-type of smile.Your thoughts turn to Malcolm and you recall the words of Norris:"If ambition doesn't hurt you, you haven't got it"

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