The Blowfly has recently been curious about the thoughts of our Prime Minister as she faces 2012.
Although an atheist the PM still has her spiritual side and, she knows, like most others, that 2012 has special significance. She knows that 2012 is likely to be a year of huge change. Even though there are prophets of doom who cling to the Mayan calendar finishing on 21 December 2012 our PM is not inclined that way.
Recently The Blowfly was able to look over her shoulder in the lead-up the New Year’s Day while she was pencilling in her resolutions for 2012. Here is a summary, as best The Blowfly can recall.
1. Keep making Tony Abbott look as though he is doing his job extremely well.
Her thinking here was quite simple. She recalled that one post-election analysis showed that if Malcolm Turnbull had lead the Coalition to the last election then the ALP would’ve lost. She knows she is onto a winner by keeping Abbott as the Liberal leader. She finds it galling to make Tony look good but she is a big picture person and the means justify the ends. As well she loves sparring with another home-grown Pom---- especially a Rhodes Scholar who believes in God!
2. Keep a close eye on Kevin Rudd
As nice as it was to see the levers of power removed from this megalomaniac she figures that he could still do some damage, especially if he has too much to drink and walks into a strip club. She started learning Mandarin but after a couple of lessons gave up because Tim couldn’t stop laughing as she practised some sample phrases with her slow nasal drawl.
3. Get to know what is going on in Bob Brown’s head
She realises that the Greens have made inroads into the hearts and minds of radical Labor voters and she would like to think she could lure some back with some radical policy initiatives----which don’t come naturally to her! As well she would genuinely like to understand what possesses gay couples to aspire to marriage. She’s still struggling with why heterosexual couples aspire to marriage.
4. Forge a more meaningful relationship with my new best friend, Barack Obama
Her thinking here that she finds him an adorable hunk and she would like to see more of him. She knows that the US is in deep manure economically. She is keeping her eyes open for some new technologies which she might be able to share with Barack so that the US could generate new revenues to stimulate their economy. And she realises the great debt we have to the US for Facebook, Twitter, Coke, Pepsi, Collateralised Debt Obligations, Goldman Sachs, McDonalds, KFC and rap-dancing. As well it’s a quasi apology for Rupert Murdoch!
5. Get a new speech-writer
She realises that her ALP Annual Conference speech was a shocker. She is hoping to find someone with a turn of phrase like Paul Keating’s but blended with a strand of Bob Hope’s humour. Andrew Denton was one who came into her head. As did Norman Gunston!
The Blowfly reckons 2012 should be a real hoot.
Showing posts with label Barack Obama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Barack Obama. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 03, 2012
Monday, November 21, 2011
Obama: That 'damn Yank'!
Deep in his little insect-heart The Blowfly is wary about President Obama’s recent visit.
Part of it is jealousy!
With all that lovey-dovey stuff going on between our Julia and the President , The Blowfly suddenly realized his place in her life.
The Blowfly has been very close to Julia on many occasions, bathing in the glow of her perfume and getting his sticky feet into that red hair. But last week it was simply impossible for The Blowfly to get past the SWAT teams.
It was a ‘damn yank’ who stole her heart.
During World War 2 local males used to complain about the Yanks being here. It was said that they were “over-paid, over-sexed and over here”.
Winston Churchill also remarked during World War 2 that “with friends like the Americans, who needs enemies?”
No doubt Darwin will grow into a thriving recreation destination for the US servicemen and women who will be stationed in the Northern Territory. That will be a plus. And many Australian men women will meet and fall in love with those servicemen and live happily ever after.
As well, The Blowfly, in his nightly foray into the garbage bins underneath Parliament House, will feel very secure because we have the Americans on our side. He will only have to worry about other flies not about intruders from overseas.
However The Blowfly realizes that American presence is a two-edged sword.
America has also given us Lehmann Brothers, Goldman Sachs and McDonalds. Not to mention Coca Cola, Mars Bars and Santa Claus.
You only have to drive through regional Australia to see the implications of multiple McDonalds in the larger centres and on the freeways. Local cafes and food places have been dealt a crushing blow. But that is progress!
The global financial crisis was given to us with the compliments of Lehmann Brothers and Goldman Sachs who dreamed up all those fancy financial instruments as a way of keeping their revenues up and transferring risk to other unsuspecting people in the economy.
At the time there were undoubtedly many financial jocks who thought that these instruments were the products of superior minds. It was no doubt seen as progress.
More recently we have seen the advent of Facebook and Google. These are seen as progress too! But they are also a rich source of information about the plethora of human-beings on this planet. The CIA , government agencies and banks are rubbing their hands with glee. One would not want to be too concerned about privacy.
The technology that was used to capture Osama Bin Laden is also the technology that human-beings are embracing to kick our financial and social systems to new heights. Progress?
So when we appear to be drawing closer to the United States of America The Blowfly asks to be forgiven for being a little reticent.
The Blowfly is reminded of the words of former Labor leader Mark Latham’s description of the Coalition’s support for the war in Iraq.
"There they are, a conga line of suckholes,” he said.
Unfortunately Obama’s visit has simply reinforced how similar both sides of politics are in Australia.
Part of it is jealousy!
With all that lovey-dovey stuff going on between our Julia and the President , The Blowfly suddenly realized his place in her life.
The Blowfly has been very close to Julia on many occasions, bathing in the glow of her perfume and getting his sticky feet into that red hair. But last week it was simply impossible for The Blowfly to get past the SWAT teams.
It was a ‘damn yank’ who stole her heart.
During World War 2 local males used to complain about the Yanks being here. It was said that they were “over-paid, over-sexed and over here”.
Winston Churchill also remarked during World War 2 that “with friends like the Americans, who needs enemies?”
No doubt Darwin will grow into a thriving recreation destination for the US servicemen and women who will be stationed in the Northern Territory. That will be a plus. And many Australian men women will meet and fall in love with those servicemen and live happily ever after.
As well, The Blowfly, in his nightly foray into the garbage bins underneath Parliament House, will feel very secure because we have the Americans on our side. He will only have to worry about other flies not about intruders from overseas.
However The Blowfly realizes that American presence is a two-edged sword.
America has also given us Lehmann Brothers, Goldman Sachs and McDonalds. Not to mention Coca Cola, Mars Bars and Santa Claus.
You only have to drive through regional Australia to see the implications of multiple McDonalds in the larger centres and on the freeways. Local cafes and food places have been dealt a crushing blow. But that is progress!
The global financial crisis was given to us with the compliments of Lehmann Brothers and Goldman Sachs who dreamed up all those fancy financial instruments as a way of keeping their revenues up and transferring risk to other unsuspecting people in the economy.
At the time there were undoubtedly many financial jocks who thought that these instruments were the products of superior minds. It was no doubt seen as progress.
More recently we have seen the advent of Facebook and Google. These are seen as progress too! But they are also a rich source of information about the plethora of human-beings on this planet. The CIA , government agencies and banks are rubbing their hands with glee. One would not want to be too concerned about privacy.
The technology that was used to capture Osama Bin Laden is also the technology that human-beings are embracing to kick our financial and social systems to new heights. Progress?
So when we appear to be drawing closer to the United States of America The Blowfly asks to be forgiven for being a little reticent.
The Blowfly is reminded of the words of former Labor leader Mark Latham’s description of the Coalition’s support for the war in Iraq.
"There they are, a conga line of suckholes,” he said.
Unfortunately Obama’s visit has simply reinforced how similar both sides of politics are in Australia.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Our PM is in fashion in the US
It has been a busy week for The Blowfly.
Last week he’d managed to ensconce himself firmly on the PM’s shoulder when she boarded her plane to the US. He was on top of the world. Her thoughts were flowing freely and The Blowfly’s psychic powers were at their best.
Then we landed in the ‘good ole US of A’.
Firstly there was the meeting with the President in the Oval Office.
The Blowfly had to hold on for dear life.
Have you ever seen the PM kick a footy? She’d had lessons from Jason Akermanis a couple of years ago and then another 2 from Barry Hall last season (that’s when you realized that she was going to be a strong opponent for Tony Abbott because----between and I ---‘Big Bad Barry’ taught her how to administer a bit of ‘biffo’ when the cameras weren’t on her).
Anyway it was a sight to see and Obama took it on the chin-----literally-----he copped the red Sherrin on the right side of the face as she sent a stab-pass across the mid-field of The Oval Office.
But it was the speech to Congress that was the highlight of the trip.
Sticking ever close to the nape of her neck so that the security cameras could not pick me up, The Blowfly managed to be there for this historical event.
On her way to Congress she had a few moments of quiet time to herself in the car on the way over.
The Blowfly tuned into her thoughts.
“Well here I am----------a little redheaded Pommy-girl about to address the US Congress-------eat your heart out Kevin Rudd!...........he blew it yet again……….when he was over here all he did was to get pissed and go to nightclubs where they had naked dancers…….and even then he could not remember a thing…………..and I’ll bet that tosser Abbott is in a confessional right now asking to be forgiven for the envy he feels towards me for being the 4th Australian Prime Minister to address Congress…………gee I hope they like the way Tim has done my hair…………aren’t I a lucky poopskin having a hairdresser for a consort……I just love it the way he fusses over me…………mmmm ….I’m still not sure about this orange jacket I’m wearing …………. but Trinny and Susannah said it would be fine because it complements my hair………Golly gee gosh I hope Wayne is holding the fort OK while I’m away-------no!no! you have to focus on the here and now girl……you are going to wow them………I hope they like the bit in my speech about the moon landing………the Yanks love it when they are reminded of their glory days…..don’t mention Vietnam though……………I hope they won’t mind me telling them to be bold………….zzzzzzz”
“Ms Gillard, Ms Gillard, you’re here” warned her aide, tapping her gently on the shoulder.
The words of Will Rogers drifted through The Blowfly’s mind : “It’s great to be great, but it’s greater to be human.”
Last week he’d managed to ensconce himself firmly on the PM’s shoulder when she boarded her plane to the US. He was on top of the world. Her thoughts were flowing freely and The Blowfly’s psychic powers were at their best.
Then we landed in the ‘good ole US of A’.
Firstly there was the meeting with the President in the Oval Office.
The Blowfly had to hold on for dear life.
Have you ever seen the PM kick a footy? She’d had lessons from Jason Akermanis a couple of years ago and then another 2 from Barry Hall last season (that’s when you realized that she was going to be a strong opponent for Tony Abbott because----between and I ---‘Big Bad Barry’ taught her how to administer a bit of ‘biffo’ when the cameras weren’t on her).
Anyway it was a sight to see and Obama took it on the chin-----literally-----he copped the red Sherrin on the right side of the face as she sent a stab-pass across the mid-field of The Oval Office.
But it was the speech to Congress that was the highlight of the trip.
Sticking ever close to the nape of her neck so that the security cameras could not pick me up, The Blowfly managed to be there for this historical event.
On her way to Congress she had a few moments of quiet time to herself in the car on the way over.
The Blowfly tuned into her thoughts.
“Well here I am----------a little redheaded Pommy-girl about to address the US Congress-------eat your heart out Kevin Rudd!...........he blew it yet again……….when he was over here all he did was to get pissed and go to nightclubs where they had naked dancers…….and even then he could not remember a thing…………..and I’ll bet that tosser Abbott is in a confessional right now asking to be forgiven for the envy he feels towards me for being the 4th Australian Prime Minister to address Congress…………gee I hope they like the way Tim has done my hair…………aren’t I a lucky poopskin having a hairdresser for a consort……I just love it the way he fusses over me…………mmmm ….I’m still not sure about this orange jacket I’m wearing …………. but Trinny and Susannah said it would be fine because it complements my hair………Golly gee gosh I hope Wayne is holding the fort OK while I’m away-------no!no! you have to focus on the here and now girl……you are going to wow them………I hope they like the bit in my speech about the moon landing………the Yanks love it when they are reminded of their glory days…..don’t mention Vietnam though……………I hope they won’t mind me telling them to be bold………….zzzzzzz”
“Ms Gillard, Ms Gillard, you’re here” warned her aide, tapping her gently on the shoulder.
The words of Will Rogers drifted through The Blowfly’s mind : “It’s great to be great, but it’s greater to be human.”
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