Sunday, May 02, 2010

Turnbull could be Prime minister after all!

This week The Blowfly has been hanging around Malcolm Turnbull like a bad smell.

The Blowfly prefers the rich. They have better class garbage and are more prone to thinking they are right.He loves winners!

For some months The Blowfly has been trying to get inside Malcolm's head regarding his plans for the future. He knows that Malcolm thinks big thoughts and he hates not having the levers in his hands.

The Blowfly was able to learn a few things when Malcolm was relaxing in his Vaucluse jacuzzi mid-week.

Imagine if you will, Malcolm determined to treat himself to a little deserving luxury after his morning coffee. Parliament was not sitting so it was a glass of champers, the Financial Review and the Sydney Morning Herald and a stream of sunshine coming in through the conservatory roof. Life could, on the surface, not be better for the Member for Wentworth.

The Blowfly very gently eases himself onto Malcolm's hair while he reads the papers. Almost straightaway his thoughts become yours and you are at one.The channelling session went something like this.

"Damn good life this being a back-bencher!................I could take more of this.............but still I feel that this indolence is not me...........I feel my life is lacking something..........am I happy?...............Happy? What is happy?...............I was happy when I knocked Kerry Packer over............I was happy when I was the head of Goldman Sachs in Australia......Jesus, those bastards are not looking too good now.........but I would've done the same............if I'd invested in sub-prime mortgages I would've found a way to cover my arse by shorting them somehow............ I was happy in my Spycatcher trial days..........I was happy when I made all that money from Ozemail............I was happy when the little rodent gave me the Water portfolio...................what does make me happy?"

He ponders for a moment and slowly sips his champers.

The the light comes on in his head. A very bright glow it is too! You can feel your feet warming up because it is turning out quite a few kilowatts.

"Lucy always tells me that I'm only happy when I am the centre of attention.Come to think of it I remember Kerry Packer telling me that too!..............they couldn't both be wrong!..........maybe I need to focus on being the centre of attention again...............how can I do that?.......maybe I should stay in politics?...........it would certainly give me more to do...........and I love irritating that tosser Abbott........and Joe!.........he's such a nice guy but so gullible...........and Christ , that damned KRudd has done a back-flip on the ETS when I put my leadership on the line for it.............hmmmmmm..............I wonder if I was set-up..............hmmmm....................."

He gently closes his eyes.

The biblical character, Lazarus, comes into his head.

"Could I rise from the dead like the little rodent did? I'm a lawyer. I'm wealthy. I married well. I have more going for me than he did when he made that 'Lazarus with a triple by-pass' remark.And only in the Liberal Party do souffles rise twice!"

The rapid eye movements start. He is dreaming.

Your antennae go up a little further.

You see an image of Tony Abbott's car being hit by a truck in Gippsland. You see an image of Joe Hockey having a massive heart attack on a treadmill.You see an image of Julius Caesar being hailed a hero in Rome.You see an image of Kevin Rudd being bludgeoned to death by Bob Brown and Penny Wong.You see Penny Wong being speared by Barnaby Joyce. Then you see an image of Malcolm walking across the harbour, climbing the bridge and then standing to the acclaim of the populace.

You are excited. The Blowfly has his own dreams but Malcolm's dreams are of truly staggering proportions.

He snuffles. His eyes open.He comes to grips with his surrounds.

Then he leaps from the jacuzzi and streaks down the hallway yelling.

"Lucy, Lucy! I thought I was dead but I am risen.I'm not going to resign. I'M GOING TO BE PRIME MINISTER AFTER ALL!"

The words of Darrow come into The Blowfly's mind. He said "When I was a boy, I was told anybody could be President;I'm beginning to believe it."



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