Sunday, August 15, 2010

What would Gough be thinking about this election?

"Men and Women of Australia!

The decision we will make for our country on 2 December is a choice between the past and the future, between the habits and fears of the past, and the demands and opportunities of the future. There are moments in history when the whole fate and future of nations can be decided by a single decision. For Australia, this is such a time. It's time for a new team, a new program, a new drive for equality of opportunities: it's time to create new opportunities for Australians, time for a new vision of what we can achieve in this generation for our nation and the region in which we live. It's time for a new government - a Labor Government."

Some of you will be old enough to recognise the beginning of Gough Whitlam's policy speech on 13 November 1972.

In trying to make some sense of this election campaign The Blowfly thought he would try to understand what Gough Whitlam thinks of the current state of affairs.

The Blowfly understands that Gough's decision, whilst in Opposition, to establish dialogue with China was a visionary masterstroke splattered with lashings of extreme good luck. That was because Richard Nixon followed Gough's initiative to China and made Gough look good. China has now become a major trading partner taking huge slabs of our resources and contributing substantially to our nation's living standards.

He also had a strong view on 'boat people'.After Saigon was taken over by North Vietnamese troops in 1975 and thousands of Vietnamese refugees sought asylum in Australia. Gough said:

"I’m not having hundreds of fucking Vietnamese Balts coming into this country with their religious and political hatreds against us!"

And he was good for an entertaining comment or two as well.

During Whitlam's attendance of the 12th Annual Aria Awards, he said of Hawke's penis

"The Emperor does not concern himself with trifles."

Back in May The Blowfly saw reports that Australia's longest-living former prime minister, Gough Whitlam, had moved into an aged-care facility, Lulworth House, a facility attached to St Luke's in Elizabeth Bay, Sydney at the age of 93.The report also added that he "remained alert".

After battling with the Eastern Suburbs traffic The Blowfly found his way to the facility and located Gough's room and --------- his shoulder!

He was sitting in front of the TV watching an election roundup----and from time to time slipping into an afternoon kip and docile oblivion.

The Blowfly tuned in carefully to Gough's thoughts.They went as follows:

"God this election is boring!.......And where is the vision?........he breaks into a little ditty in his head......... "Why can't they be like we were, perfect in every way, oh what's the matter with politicians today?"........he hums a few more bars............. he nods off for a while......then the words of Lyndon B. Johnson to the economist John Kenneth Galbraith emanate from Gough's ancient grey-matter:

"Did y'ever think Ken,that making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg? It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.".......and so it is with politics", Gough thinks and chuckles to himself in his oblivion.

"This National Broadband Network seems like the only visionary thing anyone has raised during the seems just like that gas pipeline that Rex Connor wanted to bring down to the cities from central Australia........... but why does that Conroy chap want to censor the Internet........the damned Christian lobby have been at it again..............the Sex Party want to review all censorship laws in Australia........what a great idea........that's the sort of thing I would've done...... at least we have a female PM now..........I wonder will I credit for that too?..........and I hope not too many people find out that that loser Rudd was encouraged by me to go into the diplomatic corp .........I didn't know that he would turn out to be such a micro-manager and control freak! least they can't accuse me of that!.....I didn't really have that sort of control over anything............ and why does that total tool Mark Latham keep turning up on the campaign trail and also saying that he idolises me..........and why did they hold that debate at Rooty Hill for shit's sake?...........and why didn't Rudd intervene in the NSW branch of the party like I did in Victoria.......I detest it when the Unions run the parliamentary arm........and Christ, what will NSW do when they run out of electricity.......who is Mark Arbib anyway?.......and why didn't Paul Keating go and kick a few heads in NSW.......and why did that lovely Dutch girl leave him I wonder?.................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...............why can't we put all those asylum seekers on Nauru or ............put them to work on wheat farms to shut all those whingeing farmers up........................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

You decide to let the poor dear sleep on.Anyone would feel tired after pondering these questions.

The words of Martin Luther King come into the The Blowfly's small brain channelled directly from Gough Whitlam's mind:

"Well I don't know what will happen now.We've got some difficult days ahead. But it does not really matter with me now, because I have been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind."

The Blowfly, savoring his moment from the comfort of Gough Whitlam's sleeping shoulders decides he should ponder a few questions of his own ;
  • Billy McMahon and Tony Abbott both had big ears. Is that a sign that it's time to vote Labor again?
  • Should you be pleased that the ALP machine had the guts to remove Rudd so close to an election?
  • Or should you be sorry for the Libs when you ponder how interesting this election would've been had Malcolm Turnbull been the Opposition leader?
  • Should we put our nation in the hands of a woman for a few more years?
  • How will Julia overcome the grip of the NSW right on the Labor Government in NSW and allow it to rebuild the infrastructure needed to supply sufficient electricity to it's residents and provide the transport networks to get them to and from work?
  • Do we really want to put the country in the hands of a Tory politician who thinks that the sun shines out of John Howard's backside and whose only experience with the potential of the internet is emails?
  • Does Stephen Conroy really know what he is doing and how many young voters he is alienating with his internet censorship policy?
  • Why wont the Coalition tell us, even with the benefit of hindsight,what they would've done to solve the impact of the Global Financial Crisis and how much debt we would now have if they'd had the levers?
  • Why did Blanche bring out that book about Bob during the election campaign?
  • Will Channel 9 keep Mark Latham on after the election?
  • Does Joe Hockey need to walk the Kokoda Track again?
  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

So much for an election campaign, once described by Paul Lyneham as a 'high-budget , low quality soapie, usually lasting three weeks, in which leading pollies show their immense respect for voters by a combination of bribes and TV stunts; alternatively defined as a frantic attempt to inspire the apathetic with the implausible."

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